Birth Order of Children

You may have seen this email that did the rounds a couple of years back, but it still makes me laugh because it's so true. I was reminded of it recently when the five year old was not being her best and my son declared in exasperation in front of a crowd of gathered friend:
"Why is she so undisciplined?!"

I felt the answer lay in here:

The Pregnancy:


1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN 
confirms your pregnancy.


2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.


3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.



Preparing for the Birth: 

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.


2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
 breathing didn't do a thing.


3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.



The Layette:



1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them,
 and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.


2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and 
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.


3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?



Worries:



1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you 
pick up the baby.


2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
 firstborn.


3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the
 mechanical swing.



Pacifier:



1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
 you can go home and wash and boil it.


2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off
 with some juice from the baby's bottle.


3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.



Nappies:



1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they
 need it or not.


2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if
 needed.


3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to
 complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.



Activities:



1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and 
Baby Story Hour.


2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.


3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaner.



Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you
 call home five times.


2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave 
a number where you can be reached.


3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
 sees blood.



At Home:



1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the 
baby.


2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your 
older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.


3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
 children.



Swallowing a Coin:



1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to
the hospital and demand x-rays.


2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch 
for the coin to pass.


3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
 allowance!

Can you think of others? MWWx