Are you in the right line of work?

I'm certain some people aren't.

Remember the chick who did my laser hair removal? She's definitely in the wrong job.

We once stayed at a country motel on the way to South Australia. I'd booked in advance over the phone and called on the way to let the hosts know we'd be arriving after 8pm. That was too late for them, so I was instructed to go straight to the allocated room where the keys would be left in the door. Keen to get away in the morning, I wandered over to reception which was closed, but had a sign with a number to call the owners - who I quickly worked out lived upstairs.

A woman answered the phone. She was clearly not happy to be woken up at 7am on a Saturday morning - and told me exactly that. They'd had a busy week with sales reps and she really did like a lie-in on a Saturday. How the hell was I supposed to know that?

I explained I just wanted to pay so we could head off. 'I already have your credit card details from the phone booking,' she barked at me. So I suggested we just get in the car and go. And she suggested that given she was now already wide awake she 'might as well' come down and process my card, which she did - grumpily.

By the time I finished, Geoff was in the car in the driveway with kids and luggage ready to head off.
'How'd you go?' he asked.
'I'm not sure that they're cut out for hospitality.'

Similarly, I had a colleague who was receiving yet another bollocking from a client over something that was beyond my colleague's control. Being in open plan,  the whole team was witnessing the painful event as her head sunk further and further down, eventually resting on her desk. But still it went on. Then, like a small flag of surrender, she held up a finger over the partition towards me with a Post-It note stuck on the end....

Thermomix

Hands up if you have one?

I don't.

I have been to two parties (thanks ladies!) and each time the hostess and I have been completely frank with each other - them about not expecting me to buy one and me confirming that I won't. But I do genuinely love a get together of women over a couple of glasses of bubbles, a bit of tasty food and to see what it's all about.

I was so dazzled by the recipes at the first party that I did go out and buy a new Magimix food processor to replace my ancient, cracked but still working one (do those things ever stop??) and managed to replicate the beetroot salad among other gems.

Converts swear by them. And people who have them say they use them regularly, so that's a good indication that they are practical. But the 'sell' is a killer.

I know I work in advertising - selling is my game - but these presenters have stepped it up to evangelism. All hail the Thermomix!!

Both presenters made a point of telling us its key components are all made from Surgical Grade Stainless Steel.

Do you know what 'Surgical Grade' means? That's right - not much. There is no specification for 'surgical grade stainless steel', (note use of lower case letters now), nor 'marine grade' as it so happens - they were probably made up by advertisers. There are various grades of stainless steel - that's true - but they're not specifically allocated to uses. Even more interesting is the Thermomix website refers only to 'stainless steel'. They keep the fluffy stuff for the presenters - they don't commit to it in writing - that would be silly.

I was also amazed that from the first to the second party the price went up from $1,784 (yes, I got much mileage from the 1, 784 reasons I wouldn't be buying one) to over $2k at the next party. Especially as the presenter had espoused that it was all made in Germany - and yet, over that same period, the Australian dollar had strengthen dramatically against all major currencies, including the Euro.

Being the smart-arse that I am, I had to enquire how that could be. Of course I already knew the answer - opportunism - but I was curious to see how the high-priestess of Thermomix would justify the hike. Somewhat predictably, she fell into her indoctrinated answer - to a different question. She was answering 'Why are Thermomixes so expensive?' because she had no answer to 'Why have they gone up so much when the dollar has also gone up and it's fully imported?' Naturally she started banging on about the excellent but expensive quality components of the machine, including surgical grade stainless steel - and I lost interest.

So, there you have it. I don't have a Thermomix but all power to those of you who do.

The hard sell is lost on me... which reminds me of the time I got suckered into going to a time share presentation. A topic for another post but let's just say that once my smart arse questioning got going, they couldn't get me out of there fast enough!!!

Product Plugs

I don't get paid for my opinions on this blog. That'll come as no surprise to anyone - I wouldn't pay me either. I work in advertising and this is my outlet so I'd probably struggle to play the game and talk it up. I've read some shockers on other blogs - paragraphs banging on about how amazing brand x bubble bath is - spare me! And I've spared you too. Okay - I confess, not by by my own choice - no-one's ever asked me -  but nevertheless you should be grateful!!

It probably also has a lot to do with the fact that in spite of blogging for nearly seven years, aside from a couple of pathetic 'please share on FB' I've done jack about growing my audience. Anyway, if you are a regular reader you'll know this blog is more about me wanting to write rather than a commercial venture - and just as well, hey.

Anyway..... there are a few products that with no financial incentive, I am happy to plug.

1. Nit Wits One Go. This product has changed our lives. You spray it on, start massaging and the little buggers just start dropping out - dead. Smells okay and apparently doesn't contain anything too toxic. We have been lice free for some weeks thanks to this product. And you've gotta love that because it means I haven't been blathering on about yet another infestation for some time.

2. Benefit's Brows A-Go-Go. This magical little kit was given to me for Christmas by the gorgeous Maria, my nail guru. It's also changed my life. If your brows fell victim to the fashion of super-thin any time - or like mine, several times - in the last 35 years and like me, find yourself with not much to work with - this is the kit for you! Especially with the current cosmetic emphasis on the perfectly defined brow. Just follow the instructions, dab one of the excellent brushes into the wax and colour and away you go. Love it!!!

3. KFC Spice. Okay, I haven't actually tried this product but my friends Penny C and Bec bought it for  me because the copy on the label is so funny. Good call girls! Have a read.

Confidence

When I first started in advertising my conference report writing was, well, appalling. (In fact, if you recall my post about The Typo, perhaps it hasn't improved that much.) My boss at the time suggested I sign up for the Council Of Adult Education (CAE) course, Writing for Business.

It was a great idea and although it was only a few Thursday nights, it was well worth it.

A year later and at my next agency, I was browsing through the CAE brochure and saw a course "How To Assert Yourself." Now there's a skill, I thought to myself, that every junior advertising executive should have under his/her belt! The Managing Director even agreed to fund it.

A few days later, he called me in to his office. "A few of the Creatives have heard that you're doing this course...." Oh dear. Had I over stepped the mark, was I in trouble with the creative department? It wouldn't be the first or last time. "...and they are insisting," he continued sternly, "that if I pay for you to learn to be more assertive, I have to pay for them to do Self Defence."