Best in Show

On our return flight from Hobart, we were seated in front of a couple of ladies who were clearly 'dog people'.

Geoff and I, both trying to read, could not help but over hear their booming, confident conversation on every aspect of their dogs, dog showing, specific dogs, new appointments to the administrative bodies of the dog world, etc.

Let me put it out there right now - I am not keen on dogs.

I couldn't see the ladies but imagined them as very large. Actually, a clue was the heaving around and grateful comments regarding the spare seat "I'll move over after take off and we can have the spare seat in the middle. Of course regulations are that you need to be in your allocated seat during take off in case it crashes and they can identify you from where you're strapped in." I think these ladies were in general, all over regulations.

We heard about the half dozen leads one wanted buy, some leg pads for another dog (what ever the hell they are?), transport cages and a disagreement as to weather dogs know their own lead and collar and therefore each has to be walked on its own or, if you have a house full of four-legged-friends, does the nearest one suffice?

They were clearly well travelled - and much of it on dog-related business. "Last time we went to Melbourne we travelled JetStar - lovely planes but they don't transport dogs." We heard about trips to Spain, Germany, America and New Zealand - that dog world is big! I started to wonder if they were judges at international dog shows. Then I wondered why I was wasting my wondering wondering that!!

On and on they boomed, much of it complete inane and I was glad I wasn't back there having to feign interest.
"I can tell you what will be happening at our place right now. Graham will be on the couch with the TV on, and BJ will be tucked in here (I assume she was indicating some nook or cranny on her ample self), Stella here, Pepper* here and Poppy* will be right up here!"
Seriously, who fucking cares??? But no, the companion did feel the need to respond with what she thought would happening in her recently departed household at this exact moment as well.

I heard all about Ginger's coat. "You'll never see a better coat - anywhere. I've trimmed it all back. But it'll grow," delivered with smug confidence.

The affection for the daughter of the other's dog "I love that dog. She'll never win anything at a show but she's a great little dog. I love her."

And finally, breeding and pups. "I had a bitch once, she'd have six, seven pups and not a drop of blood. Not even a whimper." Wow. Now there's an image I didn't need.

An hour later and a mere five pages of my book read, I glimpsed the ladies as we waited to disembark, and yep, my image of Roger's mistress from the Schmacko's ad was bang on!

* Some names have been changed - because I can't remember what they actually were.

MONA II

I was a bit concerned that going back to MONA wouldn't be as amazing as it was the first time I went. Ha!

Sunday morning, feeling rather shabby after a friend's son's 21st at a fancy club in town, Geoff and I  headed to the airport for the hour's flight down to Hobart. We collected the Nissan Micra as I checked TripAdvisor and discovered the Daci and Daci Baker Restaurant was the second most recommended eatery in town - and my very late night/very early morning/too much alcohol state needed feeding!

I calmed myself with a bowl of potato, corn and bacon soup, a thick slice of delicious wholemeal bread with lashings of butter and a latte.  I was starting to feel human. Helped by the cool little jazz band you can see playing behind me.

Then Geoff bought me a cake for Mother's Day - a sweet thought, but I was still feeling a tad fragile, so we had to go halves (most unlike me!)

There was a bike parked beside the bakery wearing some knits - it was so adorable I took a photo to share with you.


So, on to MONA. We were booked into the Robin pavilion but were still too early to check in so headed into the museum for a couple of hours before our mid-afternoon wine tour. There were many that were familiar from last time but still warranted a revisit, as well as enough new stuff to keep me challenged. On of my faves is the 'I Love You Room'. The poetry is so beautiful and poignant it makes me want to weep - literally - which is a bit awkward. I can only read about six or eight at a time, and when I can bear it no more, I scuttle away. But like an addict to a dealer, I'm drawn back - for just a bit more. Here are a couple of examples I snapped - I hope you can read them.

Next was the wine tour. An amazing building, small production and old vines by Australian standards. There were a couple of whites we liked but on the whole, not overly to our taste. (As an aside, what was funny was we were told by our guide that the current owner of MONA, Moorilla Estate, etc bought the property with a hand shake at the front gate and a promise not to sub divide the land. We later read the estate had been bankrupt and sold off by the bank - not quite as romantic I concede.)

We checked in and it was still only 5pm, so I set off for a run in the gym, a swim in the pool and a sauna in yet another building in which not a detail has been over looked (except perhaps the environmentally- friendly lights that turn themselves off too regularly and spooked the crap out of me when I was in the confines of the very tiny sauna). I went back to the room to plunge myself into the spa, bubbling with Aesop product, sipping a Coonawarra red Geoff had ducked down the road to get, while watching The Block on the AquaVision waterproof TV and waiting for room service to deliver our Tasmanian Scotch fillets with steamed veggies. It was only 7pm and I was pretty certain I had availed myself of most of the amenities!!

Monday; and after fresh fruit and sweet corn pikelets in the restaurant, I was ready to go back to the museum (and the I Love You Room!) for another emotional and thought provoking journey. Check out this installment. I listened to the interview with the artist - he sounded so intellectual and the ideas behind it are interesting - but it just doesn't move me. I do find it curious though. It's  based around an idea of "taking your head out of the noose of history" - I'm still thinking about what that means. The head of the big worm is the artist, as he sees himself at 88, not his current 38.

After another three or so hours, it was time to eat again. This time the degustation menu in The Source restaurant. The waiter asked if we would like the 3, 5, 7 or 9 course option? In my mind, three was too few, nine too many - so I picked seven. And matching wines? Why not.  It was after all, Monday and the autumn sun was streaming in and I was still on an utter high from the morning's art feast. This a fantasy we were living - might as well live it to the max!

The top dish was probably my fave - organic green beans, fresh figs, olive liquorice, toasted almonds and almond foam (although I did think foams were now out of date but a second  appeared later - so maybe I have that wrong?). It was exquisite.

So that was pretty much it. I would thoroughly recommend a couple of days at MONA - it's not cheap, I confess, but you absolutely feel transported and the combination of art, luxury and food is balm for your body, mind and soul.

Hundreds and Thousands

Mandy, my business partner, gave me the 'caviar pearl' nail kit from my birthday last month. As you know, I am fond of a novel nail, so it was a good choice. Here are some previous pics from previous nail posts:

Not prepared to tackle the application myself, I took it along to the lovely Maria, my perfectionist manicurist. Oh my god - I just don't have the patients; not to do them but to sit there while someone else - even someone as fun and engaging as Maria - does them. It took about an hour. She pressed every little edge, every little pearl of caviar to get this look and it did look amazing - if somewhat like I'd had my nails replaces with chocolate confectionery. 

They were a welcome talking point at a client function and a 50th birthday party were I met a whole lot of new friends (ie I didn't know many people before we got there) - but they were lumpy, thick and rough. Most odd as I poked my finger in my ear to itch, weird on the bed sheets at night and then I had to wash my hair!!! Thank god I don't have a period and a need to insert a tampon - that would truly have been the end. You have been warned. Novelty over, they lasted five days before I was back at Maria's for a removal and a gorgeous navy blue shellac. 

But, FOMO satisfied, boxed ticked, been there, done that!

Falling out of love?

You know I love my fridge. Yes, the one we bought and could have had a small, brand new (albeit, probably girlie) car for the same price..... the one my friend Kirsten has even suggested she wouldn't be surprised if I ran away with it I love it so much.

Well we've had a bit of a falling out. Because it stopped working. It started making a funny sound. We got the warranty out and OMG - it was still covered!! That'd be a first. Unlike the treadmill, the washing machine, the dishwasher... oh wait - that was under warranty - the warranty just didn't cover a short circuiting of the motherboard due to a cockroach stepping onto two point simultaneously and frying itself.
Hmmmm, said that repair man, that's unlucky - we normally only see that in Queensland.

Charred remains of the offending, fried, not-covered-by-the-warranty cockroach in top left hand corner...

Anyway, back to the fridge. The repair guy said turn it off for 24-36 hours, let its insides completely defrost, turn it back on and it should be fine. IT WAS NOT FINE. It refused to work. It's so smart though, it could tell me it was a toasty 21C inside the non-working sections - positively warmer than the house. So we had to pile everything into the working side and leave the frozen stuff in the shed (in a freezer!).  It's chock-a-block in the remaining one, I'll tell you.

So we had to get the repair guy back. Hmmmm, he said, that's unusual. (Isn't it always?) There could be a crack in your compressor in which case they'll need to replace the fridge.

They took it away on Friday, leaving a very unattractive gaping hole - I am NOT happy. The verdict on repair or replace is in on Wednesday - I know what I'm hoping for!

Sad, empty fridge/freezer

Overflowing fridge on double duty.

Four Years Ago Today...

... our beautiful daughter Jaz left us, aged 14 years and 23 days. 

And coincidentally, here's an email my friend Annie, who now lives in Paris, sent me last week.

Ok. So here is my dream last night.

I was at a party.  It was special invitation and I had to be prepared to swear that if went I would tell no one.

I said yes.

They gave me this gorgeous gold dress to wear. (pleated, fabulouswith matching tap dancing shoes)

The party was full of people I recognised but did not know buteveryone was being very friendly.

This gorgeous young woman came up to me and introduced herself, a kiss to each cheek, and said she was Jaz. She had a fabulous suntan, her skin had golden flecks , hair was thick and to her waist, she was wearing silver hot pants and these fabulous silver boots with killer heels. She was telling me about the family with details on daily activities and laughing because you were teaching Elle to drive but

Elle had refused to do any more lessons with you. And Geoff had built a secret passage way that everyone knew about except you !!!

Then other people came up congratulating Jaz on the evening  - apparently she had arranged the whole event, music, decoration, food.....the food she had actually cooked.  And the food had been created by her by asking everyone to send over everything they had in their fridge they were not going to eat.......except the food was delicate and delicious and good looking. Far from leftovers.  And

everyone was being sprayed with perfume made from the sauce...but it was divine.

The dream finished because some film crew "broke in" to interview people and Jaz closed the doors.  I was trying to find someone who could tell me the time cos I was meant to be meeting Roger....I woke

up.

Thought I had to share it with you.  It was a scene of intense calm, happiness and life !

On The Gear

There's been a lot of media attention on the 'supplements' used by footballers lately, so I thought it was time to come clean and talk about my own foray into some pharmaceuticals  - in my case, not peptides, but HRT.

Please gasp is surprise that MWW could possibly be old enough to be going through 'the change' but yes folks, it seems the symptoms of peri-menopause are here - the main one really, being incredibly fucking irritable!!! I initially thought it was living with a 14 year old daughter, and I did feel considerably better after she got on that bus to boarding school, but I was still grumpier than I remembered I used to be. (Apparently this hormonal roller coaster effects your memory too - so maybe that's not true. I'll let you all be the judge of that.)

My GP sent me off to my secret-women's-business doctor, ie the gynecologist. (Men? Any of you left still reading?) I asked her if she could just write a script for everyone at home to tidy up and perhaps that would resolve my hair-trigger tendency to yell "Would you all please just pick your stuff up!!". She said if that were possible, she'd have written herself one of those years ago. Instead, she prescribed HRT patches.

Within a week, I felt noticeably better and my hair has stopped dropping out as well. The first might be psychosomatic but the second was tangible. Either way, it seems to be working.

Which brings me to my business partner, Mandy.... yes, she likes to remind anyone who cares to listen that I'm older than her by four and a half years, but she too can get a little short and snappy. I've already threatened her that one day, when she's not looking, I will quietly stick a patch on her!

Me & Mands

Leading By Example

Driving home in the 5.30pm crush from the supermarket, a car up ahead was unnecessarily holding up the crowd.

MWW: Oh come on! Just move - drive aroooooound the corner!
Sass (from up the back): Yeah! Get out of the way you silly cheese platter!!
MWW: Cheese platter??? Where did you get that from?
Sass: Because that's what you called the guy in car park at the supermarket
MWW: No I didn't! I said get out of the way you silly P-Plater!

But I don't know, maybe Cheese Platter will catch on??

Still giving.

Last Friday night, my folks were in town and offered to take us to dinner - my choice. In the interest of ease and being agreeable, I booked The Club at 6.30pm. A little later than they like but do-able.

At 5.40pm on the day, the phone rang.
Dad: "What time will you be here?"
MWW: "I've just walked in the door. Elle's just walked in. Geoff's in the shower - I guess we were thinking we'd leave about ten past six....."
He explained they'd been upgraded to some 'retreat' section of The Club and part of the attraction was free drinks from 5.30pm.

Now it needs to be said that my parents (and us too for that matter) are well able to pay for our own drinks, but it does prove yet again that everyone loves something for free.

"Well, just get here as soon as you can," he implored. But that wasn't the end. "What time do you think you could get here? I'll need to meet you in the lobby because you can't get up here on your own - you need to be a member." Oh, the exclusivity!
"About ten past six?" I ventured. That seemed to do it.

We scurried about, getting ready and piled in the car. The parking gods were on our side and we nabbed a park on the street not far from the entrance. The meter needed $4 of coin. It was my second trip into town for the day, so my spare coin was a little light. Luckily, Sass had brought her purse, so between the two of us, we got the required amount. I hit "OK" and immediately realised I just paid for for the BMX X5 in Bay One ahead of us and our Bay Two was still sitting on 'Expired'. Bloody hell!!

We started collecting coins again, digging into the depths of my hand bag and suggesting to Elle that she write a note to said BMW owner in the hope of them being grateful. We got to $3.80 and I was just mustering up the final 5c pieces when the owner of the car in Bay One arrived back, jumped in his car and drove off!!! I asked Geoff if he wanted to drive up a bay but at that stage we'd all lost interest so I shoved in the last 20c and hit "OK" again and we rushed off to find Dad awaiting our arrival.

I hope someone got to enjoy the $4 of parking courtesy of MWW!

Here are my other acts of unconscious generosity - here.

The Riddle

Sass asked me yesterday; if I now have my own business, why am I still working?

What an excellent question.

Answers anyone??

The Lantern

We sent a latern up for Jaz's 18th birthday, like we did last year, but this time we had the idea to write her messages. Worked for me!

Happy 18th birthday Jaz.

I can't help but wonder what you'd be like as an 18 year old.

Love you my gorgeous girl and still miss you every day.

Mum xx

If you're having trouble viewing the video, you can click this link.

And again, thanks and love to Sarah for perfectly capturing Jaz on this one.

Pranking

I'm not usually one for pranking. Well, okay, there was the time I jumped into a colleague's auto correct on her computer and made 'and' turn into 'fuck'. That was pretty funny! She thought she had a virus and was about to call GoHelp when I had to confess. She's actually now a friend - who'd have thought?

Anyway, heading up to Nagambie to camp over Easter, we were along side a Prado that had a sign in the back window. "For Sale. $48,950" and a mobile number. It wasn't new - that was a ridiculous price.

"They're dreaming!" said Geoff, quoting the legendary line from The Castle.

Elle decided to text them. "$48,950. You're dreaming!"

The advantage of a van with tinted rear windows is no-one can see in the back. Geoff stared resolutely ahead, I continued to focus on the quiz in The Age as Elle gave us a howlingly funny commentary of what was going on in the car along side us.

Woman passenger reaching down to get mobile.
Woman accessing text message.
Woman looking shocked.
Woman almost getting whip lash, flicking her head in every direction to see who had just sent that text.
Car speeding up and slowing down in search of the culprit.

While we were a picture of innocence.

Oh we think we are so funny!!!!!