Camping At Home

As part of what feels like the world's longest renovation, our floors are being sanded back and stained, which means we've moved out to the shed.

We've been semi-living in the shed since July last year when the kitchen was ripped out. There's a bar fridge, a microwave and a two-ring gas cooker. Between that and the barbeque, we've managed to avoid the temptation (and expense!) of Uber Eats.

However, we have managed, until now, to be sleeping and showering in the house. Now we've all been evicted - including Gary.

Night one was a disaster.

Sass and I took a couch each. These were the cheapest couches going on the internet. They look deceptively okay but my god, they're uncomfortable beyond description. I know why they sell them online - if you had the opportunity to sit on them in a store, you wouldn't buy them.

The backs fold back to make beds and Elle says inviting guests to sleep on them is just plain rude! I'd lie on one and say they were fine and no guest has complained. Let me state, here and now, they are NOT FINE!!  Despite my $50 mattress toppers, those beds are brutal. There's a hard ridge right down the centre that even the topper and a woollen underlay can't take the edge off.

Geoff had the blow-up mattress, which has had years of reliable use - until that first night - when it slowly deflated leaving Geoff lying on the cold tiles. Fortunately, I'd set up an inflatable single bed for Elle who's coming home on Friday, so at about 3am, he crawled on to that. Unfortunately, his head hung off one end and his feet off the other.

 I looked for the puncture in the morning, gave up and headed to Anaconda. They had a deluxe QS inflatable bed, with built-in pump for $69. Done.

I got it home, pumped it up, made it and had a lie-down, admiring its comfort. (That's it below left. It's even as high as a proper bed!)

Last night, I abandoned my couch and joined Geoff. It was no better. It was so bouncy with two people that I was almost sea-sick. It'll be back to the world's most uncomfortable couch tonight.

If I'm a little crotchety when you see me, you'll know why - lack of sleep. But what I'm not getting, Gary is making up for - he seems to be loving the arrangement!!

The CCC

Back before every one had smart phones, you actually had a separate piece of equipment to take photos or videos. Imagine! My partner's family, whose surname starts with a C, swore they had been inflicted with a camera curse - known as the CCC.

The CCC presented itself whenever there was a particularly important family event, big overseas holiday or other milestone when said equipment invariably failed.

One such occasion was one of the girls' baptism. (Yes, yes, we're atheists - let's just put that down to tradition and pleasing grandparents.) The camera just wouldn't take a picture. Geoff suggested it was because the chapel was too cold, which is funny really because even then I was sure I'd seen photos taken in Antarctica and I'm pretty sure that would have been a shite-load colder than a chapel in Melbourne.

Now we all have the ability to capture a moment on our phones, it seems the curse has moved on.... to construction.

Oh. My. God. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating the construction of our shed has been. We had trouble with council and permits, getting the design finalised, the steel was delayed, the concreters were delayed due to rain, the wrong cedar was ordered, our original window guy fell through (I'm sure you remember that story!), the carpenter's mother became ill, the shutter people tried to cancel the job about 8 times because they thought is was too hard, an urgent renovation came up for Geoff and his team - on and on and on it goes.

Even at our street Christmas party, waaaaay back in December I was lamenting the languishing of this project.
I should never have started sleeping with the builder! I exclaimed in exasperation.
Gathering from the awkward expression on some of my neighbours' faces, I realised they were unaware that Geoff is the builder! Tempted though I was not to clarify, I did. (Unlike me, I know...)

Some progress has occurred. The structure is up, the windows are in, the shutters installed, the graffiti on the exterior is complete and the ceiling is all in. Geoff assures me the cabinet maker is coming next week and the tiler shortly after that.... I'll get back to you.

And the CCC continues....

Ceiling and windows - finally in.

Graffiti by Dan and Mayonaize through 90Degrees on the exterior facing the laneways... to deter graffiti!!

Neat and tidy.

After two years in planning and Elle's 16th birthday party, the shed was demolished and construction of the new shed began. That was four months ago and it's still not close to being finished.

When I say 'shed', it's a sizable project with a new garage downstairs and a loft-style space with bathroom upstairs. But it'll always be known as the shed.

I can get a bit antsy when things are in disarray but they've reached monumental proportions.

Not only is the backyard a construction site, the garden has been razed to a dust bowl (or a mud bowl depending on the weather), the deck has the clothes line precariously strapped to it and the lawn mower and other essentials are stored under plastic at the back door. It's worse than camping.

What was the backyard....

Not thinking Christmas lunch will be on the deck this year!

Inside, things aren't much better. The TV, hi-fi and speakers all need attention. I'd like to get NetFlix and ditch Foxtel but the TV is only working through Foxtel. The man has finally been and we're waiting for a new amplifier, so in the meantime, everything's been left pulled out from the wall so wires can be accessed and I can grow increasingly agro.

Some parts of the house are in serious need of attention - the floors need sanding, the kitchen has seen better days and the bathroom is dire. I've had the plans drawn up so the plan is to finish the shed and then keep going to renovate the house. If I have the will.

It's all so bad that on the weekend, I decided to attend to one of the few parts of the house I could bring order to - the front garden. I chopped, I weeded, I raked and mowed - and was rewarded with a very tidy, manicured and satisfying finish. At least something was under control!

In the middle of the mowing I was interrupted by Geoff and Elle - complaining, yet again -  that the wifi was on the blink. I called Telstra who could, incredibly, diagnose moisture on the connecting wires from the call centre (amazing!). The technician rocked up today to confirm they need to run a new wire from the street to the house, which requires them digging up the front lawn!

Aagggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!