Wednesday 20 November 2013

Pros & Cons of Being #4

I was reflecting today how disciplined we were with George and Jaz when they were little,. The routine was clockwork. The only time they knew as pre-schoolers was 'twenty past seven' which was either ten minutes until we left for creche if it was the morning or ten minutes until they were tucked up in bed if it was night.

And once tucked into their cosy little beds, that was it. They never got out. On occasion, they would call for room service, but on the whole, it was dinner, bath, book and bed. We even used to pop Enya on the portable CD player to get them off to sleep.

Then straight up at 6.30am to do it all again.

Oh how things have changed!

It started to slide a bit when Elle was born - she's 5 1/2 years younger than George - but on the whole, it was still pretty much on track.

But then Saskia arrived - a mere 12 1/2 years after George  - and that perfect pre-schooler routine was never located again. We did look. But even by three she was a reluctant participant. 'Why am I going to bed?' she'd complain, bewildered, as George, now 15, Jaz 13 and Elle 9 were all settling in for a bit of Australian Idol.  Yep - just wasn't happening. We'd still be trying to round her up at 9.30pm.

This year was our big year. She's now 7 and the only one at home. Surely we could get a routine going. And we have - sort of. She does go to bed between 7.30 and 8pm. But does tend to pop out several times if the mood takes her. It's a complete mystery to me now as to how I got the others to stay there. And I'm sure there wasn't any yelling involved either.

But it has been pointed out by Saskia's peers mothers that there are up-sides. She is incredibly articulate and usually pretty confident. She can also be extremely grown up for someone who's 7 and be very responsible with our young, pre-school neighbour.

I think you do ease up a bit as they go on and I hope there were pros and cons for all of them. But I am wondering if, like grand parenting, there should be some refresher courses for those of us who thought they'd just sneak in that last one before menopause. But at least tonight I did think to pop some music on - the iPod not the CD - and I haven't heard peep out of her!
All six of us circa 1855. (or 2006!)






6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Susie, As #4 in my family, I remember constantly getting out of bed and wanting to see what my elder brother and sisters were doing, and constantly complaining it wasn't fair! It drove Mum and Dad to distraction. I'd put it down to Sass being #4 and not your parenting skills, which I have always admired!!! Sal x

Unknown said...

I was the last of 4, with the same sort of age gap. It reminds me I never understood that whole rule thing, bed time, and not being able to be with the rest of the family. I was called unruly and berated by my much older syblings that I got everything they didnt, which was being able to sit at the dining room table, and be part of interesting conversation, watch adult programs on tv, news and current affairs, and really I just did what everyone else did in the house. Sass will be unique, no doubt about it, its funny I think of the freedom I had as the boundaries I knew. Its all in the eye of the beholder. Love to you, Anna

Samantha said...

It is my older children now who comment with great disapproval on the fact the youngest (by 4 1/2 years) gets to stay up far too late. But the problem is exactly as you describe - she wants to be with the action with the others!

Mother Who Works said...

Well you turned out pretty damned fine Anna Foley so I'll take comfort in that!! Sounds like a very similar scenario. MWWx

Mother Who Works said...

Glad I'm not alone Sam. And I've just lost the will to be insistent.... MWWx

Mother Who Works said...

Sal - you're too kind!! My kind of parenting, as well you know, is tough love, but I seem to have gotten a bit slack over the years!! MWWx

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