Corporate Wear (& Tear)

So Anonymous 1:01am on ‘And stretch’ made me think about corporate wear and small kids. Thanks 1:01am!! For the inspiration and the hilariously, excruciatingly accurate description of mothers at drop off – have a read everyone – you’ll recognise those ladies! There’s a lot of the ‘super athletes’ at my kinder drop off….

Anyway, it reminded me that years ago, I was wearing a black pencil skirt at the office. It was about 5pm as I shot through reception that the highly groomed fashionista who manned the entry called out ‘MWW, what’s that on the back of your skirt?’ Skidding to a holt, I swizzled my skirt around and inspect the snail trail running horizontally about half way up my thighs. What the heck is that? It’s kind of crusty and…oh, it’s snot. At exactly the height of an 18 month-old’s nose and in the arc of a perfect wipe. Mystery solved. But it must have been there all day – thanks colleagues, friends, buddies, pals!!!!!

This was only topped by the mark, around waist high, on my khaki shirt when baby was around one. (You can see already where this one’s going…) So I’m sitting in the main boardroom with a lot of clients and agency folk when I gave it a scratch. I managed to flake most of it off – it was only small - but like all mothers, I thought it needed a licked finger to finish the job. As I popped my fingertip into my mouth, yes, I tasted poo.

I’ve had vomit down the back of my suit, chuck in my cleavage, poo under my nails….

Come on ladies, I’m sure you have some great stories!!!! Well, great in retrospect anyway! Please share….