The Party

Some years back, there was a spate of home parties here in Melbourne that got completely out of control, requiring police attendance. The main issue was open invitations on Facebook, leading to gate crashers and that combined with excessive alcohol led to violence and vandalism. Media attention was rife and the messages were clear - if you're having a party, ensure it has a closed guest list, alert the local police and for the young ones, make sure you have security.

So we were having a party at home about that time. Being the conscientious citizen I am, I felt it right and proper to let the cops know. I rocked up to the police station and the conversation went something like this:

Hi, we're having a party and I thought I should just let you know.

Yes, said the constable on duty, always a good idea. Let me get the book.

He dug out some beaten up book from under the counter and picked up a pen.

What date? he asked.

March 19th.

He wrote that down.

Address?

I gave him our address.

Number of people?

About 100.

Invitations?

By post.

That's good, he assured me.

Occasion?

My 40th.

He put the pen down and closed the book....looked me in the eye and raised an eyebrow.

We're really only concerned about teenage parties - but thanks anyway. 

I was dismissed.

How embarrassing.

However, I would like to add that on the night in question, the police did turn up twice to tell us to keep it down - so there - put that in your book constable!!!