Condiment Queen

Do you like a condiment? Someone in this household says condiments are for people who don't like the taste of their food - but I don't see it like that. I view them as they're meant to be - enhancers. But how many enhancements can you handle?

I had this conversation on the weekend with my friend Sally, who is trying to bring some order to their collection. She's suggested to her husband Andrew that he uses one until it's finished, and then another. I don't like her chances. The whole point of the condiment is variety. But how much variety do we really require?

Here's a selection in my fridge - it's not an exhaustive list, merely an indication:

• Mustard: Dijon, Hot English, grain, American, Dijonnasie and American & Tomato sauce (yes, together, quite good on a kransky!) 
• There's beetroot chutney, my mum's chutney, mango chutney and tomato relish
• Sweet chilli sauce, chilli jam and hot chilli paste, fresh chillis and chilli flakes in the pantry - and we're not huge chilli fans! 
• We have preserved lemons and capers (in brine and packed in salt); 
• There's  mint sauce, apple sauce, cranberry sauce, seafood sauce, tartare sauce and redcurrant jelly
• Jams of every flavour including pear, red wine and rosemary to go on roast lamb
• Buckets of marmalade and plum paste that I made
• There's fish sauce, soy sauce, tamari, tamarind, hoi sin, san choi bau sauce, oyster sauce, teriyaki sauce, etc
• Dressings for salads - Thai, creamy, lemon myrtle and a variety of home made ones

And that's without what's in the cupboard, like vincotta (plain, fig and orange), raspberry vinegar, balsamic vinegar, balsamic glaze, lemon scented olive oil, four kinds of salt (Murray River pink, Maldon, regular table and rock to go under oysters - so that's not a condiment!), seeds, dukkah, spices - oh, sorry, I said I wouldn't go on with the cupboard.

No wonder the cupboards and fridge can be full and there's nothing to eat!

I'm not going to include the selection of olives (although I do like to toss them over my spag bol with chilli flakes), sun dried tomatoes and other pickled things (although I did mention capers....) 

They seem not to have use by dates either - or if they do, they're well past my expiry date!

So, come on, confess all - am I a lone condiment freak or are things just as out of hand over at your place?