Sunday 27 May 2012

"I have enough friends."


That’s not true at all. I have the most amazing friends. Some I’ve known forever, some recently acquired, all fabulous! I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by so many people who I find supportive, caring and just extremely good company. Some I see loads of, some not much – it doesn’t matter – I like you all! And I’m confident that every new project will bring more terrific people in to my life.

But I did say exactly this to my 13 year old because I was laying bare the fact that I have absolutely no compunction in not wanting to be her friend. I do think it’s very sweet when girls say their mother is their best friend. That’s lovely. But I was pointing out to Eleanor that I see my role not as her friend, but as her mother. I have no deep need to be liked by her and nor will I make decisions that will make me popular with her, or her friends, so I thought it worthwhile to be clear just so all expectations can be managed.

By being the mother, as I explained, I will invariably make decisions she won’t like. Not to be mean but because I think they are the right decisions for her welfare, safety or development because that’s my job. So she can winge and complain and yell that she hates me – but that’s okay – I have lots of really, really great friends!!!
 

2 comments:

Blackerj122 said...

had a similar conversation [ make that screaming match! with one of the grandchildren recently.

Mother of a Man-Child said...

Strange sense of deja vu reading this. As I say often to my children - parenting is NOT a popularity contest!!!!

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