Product reviews

Many years ago, I was having one of those days at the office. You know the type -  when you reflect and ask yourself; is this really what I want to do for the rest of my working life? And the answer was a resounding I don't think so!

I can't recall what prompted it. Probably one of those motivational staff training sessions that's meant to fire you up for your current job, but instead, has you questioning what the heck you're doing with your life. Pretty sure that's never what management had in mind when they forked out the big bucks for one of those fancy consultants.

Having thought hard about what I'd like to do - regardless of qualifications, experience, opportunity and feeding my kids - and I came up with day-time TV infomercial presenter. Yep - you know the ones -  asking the inane questions and looking enthusiastic about a blender that slices and chops. I thought it'd be fairly glamourous, albeit potentially vacuous, but hey, it would play to my key strength - talking!! I figured the hours and stress would also be a fraction of my current role.

Later that day, I was chatting to my esteemed colleague, Annie, head of media and just a sensible, smart, amazing woman.
Annie, I pondered, do you think those people who present infomercials on daytime TV get paid much?
No, she said, without hesitating or even asking why I was asking. I think they just get ex-models who are too old to keep modelling. 

Yep - that's me out on all fronts!

Annie was definitely the right person to ask. When she moved overseas, she also had a career re-evaluation. I recall prima donna ballerina and judge were two options she was toying with  - she neither studied dance nor had a law degree. We all thought she should throw spy into the mix - she would have been great at that!

Anyway, about three years ago, I was bombarded with ads for magnetic eyelashes on Facebook. So much so that I caved and bought some. Having confessed to this purchase, I was asked by several people to let them know what they were like. I should have done a blog post - but anyway, here's that review:

After talking about such products over many drinks one night (before iso) and my confession re the eyelashes, my friend, Anna, bought a hairdryer/styler she'd seen on FB - and let me know it was coming my way for a review.

 And here's it is - in two videos (I can't edit....)

 

After that, she sent me a text saying she's secured yet another questionable product for me to try. And here's that review.

So I dunno - maybe there is still time for that career change! 

Winner, winner...

So - here we are in week whatever of iso. I first lost track of the days, now I've lost track of the weeks - months will be next.

Like many people, we've used the time to get around to jobs that have been on the backburner for goodness-knows how long. One such task was taking a random collection of lotto tickets to the newsagency to see if we'd won a pile of money. You may ask why we hadn't gotten to that sooner - and frankly, it's because we felt quite comfortable delaying the disappointment and living with the remote possibility that we'd won.

We're not avid lotto people. We're not 'registered' or anything fancy like that. It's just that when there's a particularly big draw, Geoff might grab a ticket. We are well aware that the odds are more in your favour to be struck by lightning than they are of winning first division, but hey - people get struck by lightning.

Geoff and Sass were in charge of the project, arriving back to say one of the tickets was a winner, but as it was older than six months, the newsagent could neither tell us how much or pay it out. We need to contact the State Revenue Office. The excitement was palpable. Before long, the winning ticket was in an envelope, jettisoning it's way to the revealers of our fortune.

You did take a photo of the ticket before you posted it, I ask?
A couple of sheepish looks and it was clear they hadn't.
Dear god, there could be thousands of dollars riding on this and we have no idea of what the ticket number even is!!

Time passed.

Elle emailed an enquiry from Geoff's email, masquerading as his EA (she likes to do that!). No response. More recriminations regarding the lack of record that the ticket ever existed.

On Monday, I decided to open a book. $2 to guess how much we'd won (assuming it wasn't 'stolen'). Closest to the pin wins. You can tell from the picks that our initial euphoria had waned somewhat.

And finally, a letter arrived yesterday. Geoff and Sass scurried into the study to have the first peek, emerging with tears in their eyes and an edge of hysteria - I was hoping because we were now loaded.

Sadly, it wasn't to be. The sum total, which we will be receiving in the next few days is (drum roll please) -  $10.65. A hair more than the $8 sweep Geoff picked up!

Iso

How's iso going for you?

As someone who has worked at home for a few years, to begin with, it was pretty much business as usual - but it is rapidly becoming a bit like Ground Hog Day. Is it Monday; is it Friday? Who would know. And does it even matter?

However, there has been some unexpected tolls  - namely my nails.  Pre-iso, I had them done every 2-3 weeks for that 'polished professional' look, but look at them now! Chipped, peeling, uneven - and nude!!

Today :(

Early in iso   

That, my friends, is not only the result of scraping off your own shellac but also:

• Excessive hand washing
• Cleaning windows - inside and out
• Gardening - mowing, weeding, whipper-snippering
• Ironing (an activity I've not partaken in for literally years - I'd forgotten how perversely satisfying it is to have ironed tea towels in the drawer - although when I noticed I was ironing a running T-shirt, I knew it was time to unplug...)
• Cleaning out and rearranging cupboards
• Bathroom scrubbing (I even RainX-ed the shower screen)
• Hand-washing dishes - including many that could legitimately go in the dishwasher
• Peeling, chopping, cooking
• Laundry of all and every description
• Vacuuming and mopping (these are perpetual now the girls are home)
• Wiping down everything, using my nail to scrape off every little mark

I suspect I'm not alone.

Cleaning aside, we've also played UNO, Cat Bingo and Cluedo and I've completed a 1000 piece jigsaw.

My outings have pretty much been for a run, a walk or a coffee - but, when the girls and I decided a trip to the supermarket was required, I seized the occasion. I had been concerned that I might forget how to put makeup on and walk in heels - so 'dressed' for the occasion.

I'm pretty sure the guy at the Aldi checkout appreciated the effort; he said 'Have a nice day' and normally all he says is 'Would you like a catalogue?'

Stocking up?

The world has gone completely mad! I cannot understand why people are emptying supermarket shelves of toilet paper because of the threat of a respiratory virus. If someone can explain the phenomenon, I'd appreciate that. Currently, I can only put it down to herd mentality.

I believe the run on toilet paper has spread to other countries. This pandemic could end up being worse than coronavirus!

I won't lie; it took me a while to cotton on to what was happening. I was at Aldi late last Saturday afternoon and was surprised there was so little pasta, canned lentils and tomatoes - very not like Aldi. I wasn't after those things so didn't give it much thought. The woman in front of me at the checkout did a dash back to the bean aisle before starting to check out, arms laden with tinned chickpeas. "The beans have been restocked', she gasped, clearly relieved. I had no idea why she was saying this to me, so just smiled vacantly (as I sometimes do).

On to Woolworths where bays had been cleared of god-knows-what because there was nothing there to identify the normal inhabitants and I had no interest in investigating.

Now, of course, social media is awash with memes and comments on the doomsdayers, like 'Haven't they heard of wine??'

In the last day, a man in Tamworth was tasered for grabbing a fellow shopper by the throat in an altercation involving toilet paper. Seriously - I am not making this up - here's the news link

Even in the unlikely event that supermarket supplies run low, I'll reckon we'll be okay. We live within walking distance of seven cafes, a pub, a wine bar, a few restaurants (Indian, Thai, Vietnamese and Italian) and a couple of bottle shops - we're so fine!!!

Ironically, with the kids both temporarily out of town, I did think this might be an opportune time to eat our way through the freezer. It's overflowing. There are vegan burgers, prawns, gozleme, pizza bases, pasta sauce, jars of rocket pesto, chicken stock, turkey gravy, boa buns and goodness knows what's underneath those things. It'll require a reconnaissance.

And if we end up in lockdown, we'll be the ones living off the stash of Man Shakes (protein powder) and wine! I could afford to lose a few kg and that seems like a fairly appealing way to do it!!

Big Brother

I will admit that I'm not that particular when it comes to matters of privacy. Unlike kids of today, my social media is an open book. I do, however, subscribe to the notion that whatever you post is the same as wearing it down the street on a T-shirt, forever, so that does give me pause for thought.

I've only recently popped a bit of tape over my laptop camera. That was recommended by my kids, although really, who wants to watch me type?? And I have to remember to peel it off for Zoom meetings.

Sass did point out that she was NOT happy that my name and mobile number popped up in Google Maps, connected to our address. It seemed that it had somehow hooked into my business and thought it was doing me a favour - but that was quickly and simply unhooked and deleted!!

Retargeting also doesn't bother me. That's when you look at a website or do a Google search on say, trips to Bali and then every site you go to for the next few days serves up ads for holidays to Bali. My work gives me cause to search for all kinds of sites - from incontinence products to aged care facilities - none of which I'm actually in the market for, but Google doesn't know that. Loser.

Some people I know are cautious about shopping online. Not me. I cheerfully hand over my details to any old eCommerce site as the convenience is just too... well... convenient! I did once have the misfortune of clicking a link to track a parcel from China that contained a 'browser hijack'. That's when your usual search engine page is unwittingly taken over and filled with ads and other crap that doesn't look familiar. Most annoying. That one required a call to the IT peeps.

But there are some things that I wouldn't share for the sake of privacy - and one is my DNA. I know this has become very popular to find out about your ancestry, but I don't like the concept. Maybe because we have a family history of dodgy genes - which could be held against someone at some point in time. You also don't know what it might reveal - like a close friend of mine who, just via the standard letter, discovered a previously unknown fourth sibling!!

The other one that my intuition rejects is Google Home and other 'listening' tech. I've heard this joke several times over the last few months:
I was talking to my wife in bed the other night and she said, Why are you whispering?
I said I didn't want anyone to hear.
She laughed, then Siri laughed, then Alexa laughed.

I thought it was kind of lame - until one evening last week...

As we were getting into bed, Geoff commented that he liked the new coconut flavoured toothpaste I'd bought (WhiteGlo - just FYI) - and we had a brief conversation about the other varieties there are and where I'd bought it. I settled into bed and picked up my phone for a bit of 'Words With Friends' - and look what popped up.

Eeek!

I think I'd best put a bit more focus on that privacy thing!

Kidless

After 26 years and seven months, we are (temporarily) kidless. But who's counting??

And just quietly, it's pretty bloody fantastic! Just don't tell the kids...

Sass headed off to boarding school (just for the year) and Elle's moved back to Canberra for uni.

Praise be the day!!!

Before she left, Elle was insisting I'd be lonely and miss nagging them. True, it's only been five days, but they have been very peaceful days and I haven't missed asking eight times across a 12-hour period for her to PLEASE empty the dishwasher, pick up after herself, wipe the bench after she's eaten and turn the lights off if she's not in the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen. (Is it possible to get the kids to pay the odd power bill? You know, just for the life-experience...)

Sass left - with nine huge bags of stuff - about 10 days ago. We'd been gathering, shopping, naming and checking that list a hundred times. As one mum said, every time you check, something else appears that you swear wasn't there before. When I say 'list', it went on for pages - more of a booklet really. Everything from sheets and towels, toiletries and textbooks, to hiking gear and stationery. There was stuff all over the place - and now it's all gone!!! Yay.

Elle was next. She had an absolute car-load of clothes, homewares, bedding, cushions, books, a large jute rug, a NutriBullet, leftover beer and wine from her 21st party and a few jars of pickled red cabbage she'd made. And that too is now all outta the house!!

Order has been restored.

Gary seems a little confused, but appears to be embracing the serenity.

 On her day of departure, Elle headed off before 6am and I had a summit to attend at 7am. But when I returned, the first thing I did wasn't to check my email - but to vacuum. I was so happy!!

Since then, I've mopped the floors, washed, polished and vacuumed my car (including the footprints on the passenger side window - I kid you not), rearranged the fridge, tidied the laundry - and everything is as I left it!! It's a miracle.

No one is using my debit card for things they 'feel like' at the supermarket, I've watched MAFS uninterrupted and can even go to the loo without someone insisting I look at something 'amazing' they've just found on the internet.

Perhaps I will get bored and lonely - but then again, maybe I won't!

Remotely Weird

Although we headed away for Christmas, we did have the traditional Christmas lunch of relatives and relatives-who-aren't-related (RWAR) before we left.

There were people in this household who were campaigning strongly for a live Christmas tree for the occasion - and I was resisting - hard! There's nothing worse than coming home from a beach holiday, dealing with a laundry full of sand AND a crispy dead Christmas tree that the local rubbish collectors will NOT pick up.

There were mutterings that the house didn't feel very Christmassy, so I threw a few decorations around, including a lovely red bauble on our resident fake palm tree and dared them to disagree that it didn't scream 'Christmas!!"

Recognising that part of the illusion is the smell of pine, I hatched what I thought was a very cunning plan: I ordered fake candles online for the summer-empty fireplace and got Elle to duck up to Central Park where the Scouts sell Christmas trees and fling them a few bucks for some offcuts. The effect was as I'd hoped - a lush green bed, emitting the smell of Christmas with flickering candles - but sadly, I failed to take a photo - so you'll have to take my word for it.

Anyway, like so many things online these days, the wax candles with 'life-like flames' arrived with a dodgy remote. Seriously - not that hard to turn the on/off switch on the base - and I've recently discovered if you don't actually switch them off, they chew through batteries like there's no tomorrow.

The novelty of the remote wasn't lost on me, so I gave it go - and the strangest thing happened (no, it didn't just 'work'!! - in fact, as suspected, it was a bit hit and miss). When I turned the candles on - it kinda worked, but I had to hit the 'on' button a few times and get close enough that I might as well have just use the bloody switch! However, when I turned them off, watch the video to see what Shanequa (the robot vac) did....

Riddle me that!!!