Use Of Force

Some great things came out of the long, seven-month winter lock-down here in Melbourne and one of those highlights was this podcast.

                                           

Written and narrated by my brilliantly creative friend Sarah, and produced with our old friend David, it's no wonder it shot up the Australian Apple podcast popularity list with a bullet.

Here's the blurb:

Female ex-cop reveals a world of violence, intimidation and lawlessness - and that was just in the office. 
Never intended for release, 18 months of intimate phone conversations with a woman who was nearly destroyed by the police brotherhood. A toxic mix of corruption, misogyny and high-risk offenders. 

Just six episodes - most around 30 minutes - it'll leave you stunned at how naive we've all been about what actually happens inside these bastions of patriarchy. 

I know many of my friends from adland got onto this early, but if you missed it, click on your preferred platform below to start listening.

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google

And a particular shout out to readers outside Australia, please share!! It'd be great for this to get the global recognition it deserves!

Vale my beautiful Frelative

Are you lucky enough to have a 'frelative'? That's the term I've coined in honour of this amazing woman, Theresa or to me, simply T.

I first met T in 1988 when I started in advertising. We weren't particularly close but she was friendly and smart, and kind to the trainee (that was me).

T married Peter, who was also in advertising. The industry in Melbourne is a fairly small circle so perhaps it wasn't that surprising that a few years later, Peter was my boss. He was charismatic, ambitious and very good looking! Because we lived in adjoining suburbs, he'd regularly offer me a lift home as an alternative to taking the train, which I readily accepted. Tragically, Peter died in a car accident before he was 40. T never re-partnered - he was, literally, the love of her life.

It was after that terrible event that we became close. Not just T and me, but our families, including her and Peter's three beautiful children, Frankie, Gabi and Gianni.

We quickly became the 'relatives who aren't related', sharing family dinners, birthday celebrations, Christmas get-togethers, brunches and more.

Frankie would have sleepovers, babysit the kids, play dress ups, do craft, come on fun runs  with Elle and me - I often refer to her as my fifth or 'acquired' child. She spoke at both Jaz and Georges' funerals. Gabi also babysat and recently, our work paths collided with colleagues saying 'oh, right - so you're Gabi's aunt!' - yeah - pretty much! Geoff and Gianni share a love of music and have gone to many a concert together.

T used to collect George and take him to watch Gianni play basketball every week for a season or two. At that stage of George's life, he was wheelchair-bound and spent most of his weekends hanging out with us - so he absolutely loved these outings.

T was so thoughtful. We'd come home from holidays and find bread, milk and other essentials at the front door. Anniversaries, birthdays and life events were always acknowledged - for example, a tub of ice-cream dropped over for George's birthday after he'd died - because we all knew how much he'd loved ice-cream!! She'd often text to say she's dropped off a nut butter or new vegan chocolate or some other amazing product she's discovered because she wanted to share her find.

My friends loved T. She had the most incredible ability to recall the details of people's lives - because she was genuinely interested. She'd see someone a year later and ask how their son's uni course was going or how they'd enjoyed their holiday to the States. It was incredible.

We went to the same gym so before lockdown, I'd see her a couple of times a week - often in the same Spin class.

I don't have a sister, but T was as close as I think you'd get. The conversation was always unedited, she was always there if I needed anything - a kid picked up, dropped off, looked after - but there was never any obligation; which is what made it feel like family.

T was taken way too soon. Her loss of Peter so early in their life only consolidates the unfairness. But as we all know, life isn't fair and bad luck doesn't make you immune from more bad luck. 

So vale my beautiful frelative and I so hope you've been reunited with Peter. xx

The Endurance Quest

Have you ever toyed with the idea of an endurance quest? You know the type, walking from Brisbane to Sydney, riding your bike across the Nullabor, going it alone through Siberia? The type of undertaking that challenges your resilience and mental strength to just keep going?

Well, if you live in Melbourne, you can pretty much tick that box.

We have now officially had the longest, harshest lockdown in the world - and it's still going.

You may be wondering why I haven't used this time to post more. That's because NOTHING has been happening!! #isobored  In fact, I have ventured out so infrequently, I've only refuelled my car once since March - ONCE!!!

Way back in March, when this shit-storm started, there was some novelty to being locked down. I ironed, cleaned windows, sorted out cupboards, did some jigsaws, cooked a lot - the things everyone was doing. This was followed by a little reprieve; we had dinner with friends, I went to the gym, had my nails done - there was hope in the air. Now, I can't even be entirely sure of the sequence of events but next thing, we were back in Stage Three, which then rapidly escalated to Stage Four for six weeks, which has now only slightly eased for yet an additional two weeks.

Friends who I've always thought of as stoic, resilient and community-minded are losing it. People who have shown no interest in politics are screaming at the TV when further announcements are made and posting things on social media that is sparking debate on how this has been handled. This is officially a hot mess - and we're all on the Coronacoaster.

Various recent comments implied that people not living here don't get it. They ask the right questions but don't really comprehend the depth of distress Melbournians are experiencing. It reminds me of unpaid family carers - that passion of mine. I once described caring - the 24/7 high-needs type - as a 'perpetual ordeal'. And, like lockdown, it's not to say it doesn't have its moments of joy, but you're always hypervigilant, awaiting the next inevitable catastrophe or bad news event.

I know I shouldn't complain. People have died, others are suffering incomprehensible financial distress and front line health workers are exhausted. I often think of those shut up in tiny apartments with lots of small children, home-schooling and allowed out for only an hour a day (now two....). Many people are physically trapped in a crumbling relationship - the requests to lawyers for divorce is up 40% - and that doesn't even touch on the soaring domestic violence. 

So there you have it. I am trying to focus on the positive this week and stop my endless complaining. So far, not good. I'm cracking on with another jigsaw, learning Spanish and completing a certificate in Governance and Risk Management - but what I'm really missing is people!! Coffee, meetings, drinks, strategy days, workshops, dinners - I can't wait until I again have places to be, and people to see. 

The Kmart Kart Game

Given here in Melbourne we're back in lockdown, you'd think I'd be churning out blog posts - but there's really so little going on there's not much to write about. Until now.

I've been after these black, glass-topped side tables from Kmart for months. They'll be perfect for your cuppa (yeah, okay - wine!) when watching the endless hours of Netflix/Stan/SBS/FTA... and they're $39. What's not to love?

They've been out of stock for months. When we weren't locked down, I even checked in-store, where empty shelves across many categories confirmed reports that the supply chain - mostly from China - has been affected by COVID.

Elle and I have been checking online from time to time to see if they're back and weren't we thrilled to see them - yay! I popped them in my cart and then realised I needed to get to $45 to qualify for free shipping. I needed to get something upwards of $6 - how hard could that be? And here's where the game started.

Underwear in our sizes was out of stock. We tried a hair clasp. The process is that you need to add the item to your cart and then attempt the checkout - that's when you discover the hair clasp is out of stock, Damn. Next was a cheap fashion necklace, then another - nope, both out of stock.

I know, I thought, a book! I Googled bestsellers,  a  couple of reviews - time was ticking and my tables were waiting. Elle was getting panicky. I threw one in the cart and proceeded to check out - the book was out of stock. I chose another - same deal. I selected a random title - also out of stock. Clearly, there are no books in stock.

What else, I  pondered? I know! A new laundry basket! The handles on my tubs are broken - I could do with a  new one - and, miracle, it was in stock!! I checked out and was beside myself with a deep sense of achievement - tables, free shipping and a random laundry basket.

My elation lasted until the next day when I received an email from Kmart to advise that my tables were out of stock and that they'd issued me a refund. Next was an email from Australia Post to say my parcel from Kmart was on its way. And here it is.

No tables but a $12 laundry basket (free shipping) I probably could have lived without. Never mind.

Powering Down

Other than acquiring some new and whacky hobbies over iso, I've also used the opportunity to pay more attention to that fun, family activity - finances!!

Top of the list was the electricity bill. 

I'm with a supplier that nattily tracks our expenditure and compares it to our average. Now I appreciate that we've all been home and winter is upon us, but dear god, how could we spend so much?? In March and April, it was $30-40 a week, but in June, it just kept going up until we cracked $100. Now there's a PB no-one should be proud of.

The real mystery was why were the weekends less painful than weekdays when given our routine, every day is pretty much the same. Here's an example.

The obvious culprits when the weather turns are heating, hot water and the dryer - but to add to the mystery, in our house, those three are gas. 

I rang the energy company and discovered that the price of electricity during 'peak demand' costs more than DOUBLE off-peak. Added to the explanation is that 'peak' runs from 7am until 11pm. That's not PEAK - that's pretty much all of my waking hours!!

I believe some companies also have a 'shoulder' but I'm guessing when it's all said and done, it evens out to be the same; ridiculous!

And we might even pay higher rates in winter. I Googled that and couldn't find a clear answer. 

Can I just point out this is only electricity and that our solar is currently putting almost zip back into the grid.

In an attempt to stem this hemorrhaging of money, I:

• Reprogrammed the bathroom floor heating and pond filter to go hard between 5am and 6.50am
• Ran the dishwasher from 11pm
• Used the 'delay' button on the washing machine to run during the night (I'd wondered what that was for! Poor Gary the cat sleeps in the laundry and may not appreciate it - but as he's making no financial contribution to the household, tough luck!)

I have also attempted to get people to turn off lights as they leave a room - but that's still a work in progress.

Anyway, just with those changes, here's what happened! We've whittled $20 off it. And saved some carbon.

Not exactly a holiday but better in my pocket than theirs!

Painting by numbers

If you're anything like me, you've always pooh-poohed this style of art. In fact, I still don't think it is art - it's really just a different read on a puzzle.

Having literally just completed the second of two massive jigsaws - 1000 and 1500 pieces - the kids gave me an Aldi paint by numbers kit for Mother's Day. I also scored the Jacinda Ardern book, "A New Kind of Leader" and a plate of home-made jelly slice. Winner!!!

Mother's Day was back in early May, and I finished the painting yesterday. Here it is.

That, my friends, was a bloody marathon! Here are a couple of progress pictures, to prove I didn't snip the image off the front of the packet.

Yep - Gary walking over my 'masterpiece' and 

having a little drink from the brush water...

And for reference, here is the packet. I'd describe the outcome as more of a facsimile or a likeness, rather than an accurate depiction. And once you get into one of these, you quickly discover why.

Before embarking on this project, I näively assumed paint by numbers was as simple as working your way through the provided colours and fill in the spaces with that colour. How wrong I was! Yes, some colours are straight out of the pot, but others require mixing - and not just two, sometimes there are three.

The instructions said that if two numbers were indicated, mix in equal parts. So I was surprised to see areas requiring 10/6 abutted next to areas of 6/10. More confusing was that some of these complex colours mentioned numbers - like 26 and 19 -  that weren't supplied 😳.

To add to my frustration, being the rule follower that I am, on more than one occasion, the colour I mixed looked pretty bloody identical to a previous combination of different colours! At that point, I confess, there may have been some rouge, 'off-piste' and ad-lib painting.

Other issues included incredibly teensy-weensy areas and numbers. I don't normally wear reading glasses, but was forced to commandeer a pair of Geoff's x2 magnifying glasses to see what the heck was going on. What this also revealed was that once into the very detailed areas, some spaces were absent of numbers. (No - they weren't meant to be white as they were all numbered 1.) Couple that with the single 'one size does NOT fit all' brush that comes with the kit and the degree of difficulty is ramped up several notches. Here's an example, which I have blown up so much it's actually gone fuzzy - to make my point. 

So - would I recommend it as an iso-hobby? It's no better for your neck and back than a puzzle, it takes at least as long and ruined my thumb-nail opening those silly little pots, but a least with a jigsaw, once it's done, you can pop it back in the box and pass it along. What on earth do you do with a dodgy piece of 'art'??? I'm thinking about the recycling bin.

Product reviews

Many years ago, I was having one of those days at the office. You know the type -  when you reflect and ask yourself; is this really what I want to do for the rest of my working life? And the answer was a resounding I don't think so!

I can't recall what prompted it. Probably one of those motivational staff training sessions that's meant to fire you up for your current job, but instead, has you questioning what the heck you're doing with your life. Pretty sure that's never what management had in mind when they forked out the big bucks for one of those fancy consultants.

Having thought hard about what I'd like to do - regardless of qualifications, experience, opportunity and feeding my kids - and I came up with day-time TV infomercial presenter. Yep - you know the ones -  asking the inane questions and looking enthusiastic about a blender that slices and chops. I thought it'd be fairly glamourous, albeit potentially vacuous, but hey, it would play to my key strength - talking!! I figured the hours and stress would also be a fraction of my current role.

Later that day, I was chatting to my esteemed colleague, Annie, head of media and just a sensible, smart, amazing woman.
Annie, I pondered, do you think those people who present infomercials on daytime TV get paid much?
No, she said, without hesitating or even asking why I was asking. I think they just get ex-models who are too old to keep modelling. 

Yep - that's me out on all fronts!

Annie was definitely the right person to ask. When she moved overseas, she also had a career re-evaluation. I recall prima donna ballerina and judge were two options she was toying with  - she neither studied dance nor had a law degree. We all thought she should throw spy into the mix - she would have been great at that!

Anyway, about three years ago, I was bombarded with ads for magnetic eyelashes on Facebook. So much so that I caved and bought some. Having confessed to this purchase, I was asked by several people to let them know what they were like. I should have done a blog post - but anyway, here's that review:

After talking about such products over many drinks one night (before iso) and my confession re the eyelashes, my friend, Anna, bought a hairdryer/styler she'd seen on FB - and let me know it was coming my way for a review.

 And here's it is - in two videos (I can't edit....)

 

After that, she sent me a text saying she's secured yet another questionable product for me to try. And here's that review.

So I dunno - maybe there is still time for that career change! 

Winner, winner...

So - here we are in week whatever of iso. I first lost track of the days, now I've lost track of the weeks - months will be next.

Like many people, we've used the time to get around to jobs that have been on the backburner for goodness-knows how long. One such task was taking a random collection of lotto tickets to the newsagency to see if we'd won a pile of money. You may ask why we hadn't gotten to that sooner - and frankly, it's because we felt quite comfortable delaying the disappointment and living with the remote possibility that we'd won.

We're not avid lotto people. We're not 'registered' or anything fancy like that. It's just that when there's a particularly big draw, Geoff might grab a ticket. We are well aware that the odds are more in your favour to be struck by lightning than they are of winning first division, but hey - people get struck by lightning.

Geoff and Sass were in charge of the project, arriving back to say one of the tickets was a winner, but as it was older than six months, the newsagent could neither tell us how much or pay it out. We need to contact the State Revenue Office. The excitement was palpable. Before long, the winning ticket was in an envelope, jettisoning it's way to the revealers of our fortune.

You did take a photo of the ticket before you posted it, I ask?
A couple of sheepish looks and it was clear they hadn't.
Dear god, there could be thousands of dollars riding on this and we have no idea of what the ticket number even is!!

Time passed.

Elle emailed an enquiry from Geoff's email, masquerading as his EA (she likes to do that!). No response. More recriminations regarding the lack of record that the ticket ever existed.

On Monday, I decided to open a book. $2 to guess how much we'd won (assuming it wasn't 'stolen'). Closest to the pin wins. You can tell from the picks that our initial euphoria had waned somewhat.

And finally, a letter arrived yesterday. Geoff and Sass scurried into the study to have the first peek, emerging with tears in their eyes and an edge of hysteria - I was hoping because we were now loaded.

Sadly, it wasn't to be. The sum total, which we will be receiving in the next few days is (drum roll please) -  $10.65. A hair more than the $8 sweep Geoff picked up!

Iso

How's iso going for you?

As someone who has worked at home for a few years, to begin with, it was pretty much business as usual - but it is rapidly becoming a bit like Ground Hog Day. Is it Monday; is it Friday? Who would know. And does it even matter?

However, there has been some unexpected tolls  - namely my nails.  Pre-iso, I had them done every 2-3 weeks for that 'polished professional' look, but look at them now! Chipped, peeling, uneven - and nude!!

Today :(

Early in iso   

That, my friends, is not only the result of scraping off your own shellac but also:

• Excessive hand washing
• Cleaning windows - inside and out
• Gardening - mowing, weeding, whipper-snippering
• Ironing (an activity I've not partaken in for literally years - I'd forgotten how perversely satisfying it is to have ironed tea towels in the drawer - although when I noticed I was ironing a running T-shirt, I knew it was time to unplug...)
• Cleaning out and rearranging cupboards
• Bathroom scrubbing (I even RainX-ed the shower screen)
• Hand-washing dishes - including many that could legitimately go in the dishwasher
• Peeling, chopping, cooking
• Laundry of all and every description
• Vacuuming and mopping (these are perpetual now the girls are home)
• Wiping down everything, using my nail to scrape off every little mark

I suspect I'm not alone.

Cleaning aside, we've also played UNO, Cat Bingo and Cluedo and I've completed a 1000 piece jigsaw.

My outings have pretty much been for a run, a walk or a coffee - but, when the girls and I decided a trip to the supermarket was required, I seized the occasion. I had been concerned that I might forget how to put makeup on and walk in heels - so 'dressed' for the occasion.

I'm pretty sure the guy at the Aldi checkout appreciated the effort; he said 'Have a nice day' and normally all he says is 'Would you like a catalogue?'

Stocking up?

The world has gone completely mad! I cannot understand why people are emptying supermarket shelves of toilet paper because of the threat of a respiratory virus. If someone can explain the phenomenon, I'd appreciate that. Currently, I can only put it down to herd mentality.

I believe the run on toilet paper has spread to other countries. This pandemic could end up being worse than coronavirus!

I won't lie; it took me a while to cotton on to what was happening. I was at Aldi late last Saturday afternoon and was surprised there was so little pasta, canned lentils and tomatoes - very not like Aldi. I wasn't after those things so didn't give it much thought. The woman in front of me at the checkout did a dash back to the bean aisle before starting to check out, arms laden with tinned chickpeas. "The beans have been restocked', she gasped, clearly relieved. I had no idea why she was saying this to me, so just smiled vacantly (as I sometimes do).

On to Woolworths where bays had been cleared of god-knows-what because there was nothing there to identify the normal inhabitants and I had no interest in investigating.

Now, of course, social media is awash with memes and comments on the doomsdayers, like 'Haven't they heard of wine??'

In the last day, a man in Tamworth was tasered for grabbing a fellow shopper by the throat in an altercation involving toilet paper. Seriously - I am not making this up - here's the news link

Even in the unlikely event that supermarket supplies run low, I'll reckon we'll be okay. We live within walking distance of seven cafes, a pub, a wine bar, a few restaurants (Indian, Thai, Vietnamese and Italian) and a couple of bottle shops - we're so fine!!!

Ironically, with the kids both temporarily out of town, I did think this might be an opportune time to eat our way through the freezer. It's overflowing. There are vegan burgers, prawns, gozleme, pizza bases, pasta sauce, jars of rocket pesto, chicken stock, turkey gravy, boa buns and goodness knows what's underneath those things. It'll require a reconnaissance.

And if we end up in lockdown, we'll be the ones living off the stash of Man Shakes (protein powder) and wine! I could afford to lose a few kg and that seems like a fairly appealing way to do it!!

Big Brother

I will admit that I'm not that particular when it comes to matters of privacy. Unlike kids of today, my social media is an open book. I do, however, subscribe to the notion that whatever you post is the same as wearing it down the street on a T-shirt, forever, so that does give me pause for thought.

I've only recently popped a bit of tape over my laptop camera. That was recommended by my kids, although really, who wants to watch me type?? And I have to remember to peel it off for Zoom meetings.

Sass did point out that she was NOT happy that my name and mobile number popped up in Google Maps, connected to our address. It seemed that it had somehow hooked into my business and thought it was doing me a favour - but that was quickly and simply unhooked and deleted!!

Retargeting also doesn't bother me. That's when you look at a website or do a Google search on say, trips to Bali and then every site you go to for the next few days serves up ads for holidays to Bali. My work gives me cause to search for all kinds of sites - from incontinence products to aged care facilities - none of which I'm actually in the market for, but Google doesn't know that. Loser.

Some people I know are cautious about shopping online. Not me. I cheerfully hand over my details to any old eCommerce site as the convenience is just too... well... convenient! I did once have the misfortune of clicking a link to track a parcel from China that contained a 'browser hijack'. That's when your usual search engine page is unwittingly taken over and filled with ads and other crap that doesn't look familiar. Most annoying. That one required a call to the IT peeps.

But there are some things that I wouldn't share for the sake of privacy - and one is my DNA. I know this has become very popular to find out about your ancestry, but I don't like the concept. Maybe because we have a family history of dodgy genes - which could be held against someone at some point in time. You also don't know what it might reveal - like a close friend of mine who, just via the standard letter, discovered a previously unknown fourth sibling!!

The other one that my intuition rejects is Google Home and other 'listening' tech. I've heard this joke several times over the last few months:
I was talking to my wife in bed the other night and she said, Why are you whispering?
I said I didn't want anyone to hear.
She laughed, then Siri laughed, then Alexa laughed.

I thought it was kind of lame - until one evening last week...

As we were getting into bed, Geoff commented that he liked the new coconut flavoured toothpaste I'd bought (WhiteGlo - just FYI) - and we had a brief conversation about the other varieties there are and where I'd bought it. I settled into bed and picked up my phone for a bit of 'Words With Friends' - and look what popped up.

Eeek!

I think I'd best put a bit more focus on that privacy thing!

Kidless

After 26 years and seven months, we are (temporarily) kidless. But who's counting??

And just quietly, it's pretty bloody fantastic! Just don't tell the kids...

Sass headed off to boarding school (just for the year) and Elle's moved back to Canberra for uni.

Praise be the day!!!

Before she left, Elle was insisting I'd be lonely and miss nagging them. True, it's only been five days, but they have been very peaceful days and I haven't missed asking eight times across a 12-hour period for her to PLEASE empty the dishwasher, pick up after herself, wipe the bench after she's eaten and turn the lights off if she's not in the bedroom/bathroom/kitchen. (Is it possible to get the kids to pay the odd power bill? You know, just for the life-experience...)

Sass left - with nine huge bags of stuff - about 10 days ago. We'd been gathering, shopping, naming and checking that list a hundred times. As one mum said, every time you check, something else appears that you swear wasn't there before. When I say 'list', it went on for pages - more of a booklet really. Everything from sheets and towels, toiletries and textbooks, to hiking gear and stationery. There was stuff all over the place - and now it's all gone!!! Yay.

Elle was next. She had an absolute car-load of clothes, homewares, bedding, cushions, books, a large jute rug, a NutriBullet, leftover beer and wine from her 21st party and a few jars of pickled red cabbage she'd made. And that too is now all outta the house!!

Order has been restored.

Gary seems a little confused, but appears to be embracing the serenity.

 On her day of departure, Elle headed off before 6am and I had a summit to attend at 7am. But when I returned, the first thing I did wasn't to check my email - but to vacuum. I was so happy!!

Since then, I've mopped the floors, washed, polished and vacuumed my car (including the footprints on the passenger side window - I kid you not), rearranged the fridge, tidied the laundry - and everything is as I left it!! It's a miracle.

No one is using my debit card for things they 'feel like' at the supermarket, I've watched MAFS uninterrupted and can even go to the loo without someone insisting I look at something 'amazing' they've just found on the internet.

Perhaps I will get bored and lonely - but then again, maybe I won't!

Remotely Weird

Although we headed away for Christmas, we did have the traditional Christmas lunch of relatives and relatives-who-aren't-related (RWAR) before we left.

There were people in this household who were campaigning strongly for a live Christmas tree for the occasion - and I was resisting - hard! There's nothing worse than coming home from a beach holiday, dealing with a laundry full of sand AND a crispy dead Christmas tree that the local rubbish collectors will NOT pick up.

There were mutterings that the house didn't feel very Christmassy, so I threw a few decorations around, including a lovely red bauble on our resident fake palm tree and dared them to disagree that it didn't scream 'Christmas!!"

Recognising that part of the illusion is the smell of pine, I hatched what I thought was a very cunning plan: I ordered fake candles online for the summer-empty fireplace and got Elle to duck up to Central Park where the Scouts sell Christmas trees and fling them a few bucks for some offcuts. The effect was as I'd hoped - a lush green bed, emitting the smell of Christmas with flickering candles - but sadly, I failed to take a photo - so you'll have to take my word for it.

Anyway, like so many things online these days, the wax candles with 'life-like flames' arrived with a dodgy remote. Seriously - not that hard to turn the on/off switch on the base - and I've recently discovered if you don't actually switch them off, they chew through batteries like there's no tomorrow.

The novelty of the remote wasn't lost on me, so I gave it go - and the strangest thing happened (no, it didn't just 'work'!! - in fact, as suspected, it was a bit hit and miss). When I turned the candles on - it kinda worked, but I had to hit the 'on' button a few times and get close enough that I might as well have just use the bloody switch! However, when I turned them off, watch the video to see what Shanequa (the robot vac) did....

Riddle me that!!!

Are sea lions dangerous?

Yeah – like me, you’d probably need to Google that.

And even, like why?

Because Sass and I had had a close encounter with this one when we were at Robe over Christmas.

We were in the surf – without boards (I don’t recall why) – just leaping around in the waves when I thought I spotted someone on a board ‘out the back’. Then they disappeared.

A moment later ‘they’ reappeared and I realised it was an animal.

“Look Sass!’ I said, pointing. “It’s a seal!”

At a safe distance, the concept of being in the waves with a seal was kind of appealing.

And then it caught a wave, body surfing towards us like a torpedo. And I realised it was a heck of a lot bigger than a seal.

Sass and I were both wearing black wetsuits and the thought occurred to me that perhaps this brute thought we were a couple of females of the same species that he should check out.

At that point, I wondered if sea lions were dangerous. Having not Googled that before, I wasn’t sure, so decided panic was the best course of action.

“Sass! Run! Get out of the water!!” We waded as fast as we could through waist-deep water, eventually making it to the beach before our new friend.

 

This is a stock shot but you get the idea

This is the actual sea lion in question - Sass got a shot from the cliff

He did come onto the beach where we later noticed he had a flesh wound near his tail - maybe from a boat propeller, fishing line - or even a shark. He didn't say.

But back to the question; I did Google and it said sea lions aren't usually dangerous,  but they are very large, have sharp teeth and are wild animals.

Panic vindicated!