The renovation

Look, I appreciate it's a first world problem, but I am so over our renovation!

For those who know me in real life, you may recall it took two years to renovate the shed (which turned out very nicely and is now where I work), the backyard (mostly deck) and new fences on both sides of our property.

We had a small break and now we're onto the house.

It's just not moving fast enough. The term 'glacial rate' has been tossed about with abandon - by me.

The dust and dirt have worn me down. So much so that I actually washed my car the other day (yes, by myself with a bucket!) just so something was clean. Two days later it rained. It needs to be cleaned again.

I cleaned the rooms that were intact, including the bathroom and a day later they were filthy.

I've been sleeping with the builder - it hasn't helped. Some suggested sleeping with him isn't enough - I actually need to put out!

We've been held up by all kinds of crazy things. Some of the material for the kitchen has been delayed because of a strike. The taps were stuck on the docks due to an outbreak of stink bug - I couldn't make that up - here's the government's announcement. The guy who's putting the underfloor heating in has had a breakdown - and I swear I'm next!

Here's a snapshot of where it's at:

This project kicked off at the start of July and it's nearly November. The builder said it'd be done by Christmas - but it didn't escape my attention that he failed to commit to which Christmas.

I'm sure it'll be fabulous when it's done - I'm just having a whinge as I've not had an oven for four months. Beer can chicken on the BBQ for dinner tonight!

The Conference

I went to Brisbane for a three-day conference last week - on the topic of cemeteries and crematoria. Yes, it's Latin - singular is crematorium and plural, I figure, is crematoria. See! I learnt something before I even got there!

There was some really interesting stuff! I had no idea that there were so many vessels you can keep ashes in, even jewellery. I once looked at having some of Jaz converted into a diamond, but then panicked that I might lose it. Irrational, I know, but it did stop me. As you may know, our family ritual is taking some of George and Jaz's ashes with us when we travel and sprinkling a bit at picturesque or significant places. However, the majority of them rests in beautiful, antique boxes on a bookshelf in Elle's bedroom.

I also learnt that these days, cremation is far more popular than burial. However, if you are considering burial, how's this iPhone tombstone? It's made of granite and looks amazing. Apparently, it was made and installed as a bit of a stunt but has attracted many genuine enquiries.

Yep - an iPhone headstone!

The session on exploding batteries contained within tiny defibrillators was also fascinating. These things are so small they actually place them in your ventricle - which is why they're hard to spot 'after the event' so to speak. I've since learnt that most people know what 'cadaver' means - but as I didn't, and it had been used several times regarding testing of said battery explosions, I did a discreet Google - which also brought up some images.... eek!!!!

We also learnt that if you hear a high-pitched noise in the mortuary, it may be the defibrillator alarm, indicating that the "patient could be in trouble'.... the presenter recalled she was at a cemeteries convention, not a medical one and hastily added, "Actually, probably not really in any trouble."

Should this occur, the manufacturer was giving away branded magnets shaped like flat doughnuts that you can run over the deceased chest to turn it off. Bet you didn't know that!!

Before going to the conference, I had thought QR codes on headstones was a brilliant idea. People wandering through a cemetery could scan the code and get a potted version of the occupant's story. I was more than a little sad to discover not only had this been thought of, it's now used quite widely.

Some of the supplier 'gifts' were gold. An attractive mug from the peeps who recycle all the metal collected after the cremation - you know, hips, fillings, that plate in the leg from that motorcycle accident in your 20s, that kind of thing. It's big business and returns money to cemeteries for various charitable services. The metal is sold to manufacturers. Seriously, I was looking at my gold ring and wondering if, in a previous lifetime, it was someone's fillings.... and I'm not game to think about what the mug may once have been.

It's an industry ripe for puns. A water bottle in my gift bag says 'Have a drink on us, you urned it' See what they did there?

Anyway, but now you may be wondering what the heck I was doing there. I've actually been appointed to a cemetery trust and figured this was a fast-track to immersing myself in the industry. It worked!

Black Bean and Black Rice Salad

I've been lacking the inspiration to blog lately - as you may have noticed!

To get me back on track, my friend Deb suggested a recipe. Excellent idea - thanks, Deb!

This salad has loads of ingredients but is healthy, dead simple (although you need time to cook the beans) and you can add any protein you fancy - chicken, salmon, even a poached egg.

1. Dried black beans take 55 minutes to cook at a simmer. You can substitute canned ones if you'd prefer. I cooked dried ones and threw the black rice in at the 20-minute mark as it takes 35 minutes to cook. They're happy co-cooking in the pot together!
   
2. I dry roasted pine nuts, hazelnuts, almonds and pepitas in a cast iron fry pan (that means no oil - if you ever toast nuts and seeds, know they produce enough of their own oil not to require any additional). You could use any nuts and seeds.
   
3. I drained a can each of green lentils and chickpeas (you could cook them from dried if you want to)
   
4. In a large, flat bowl, I threw in cherry tomatoes, torn up baby bok choy from the garden, diced red capsicum and celery - just because that's what I had to hand. You could add spinach, rocket, snow peas - anything really - then I added the drained lentils and chickpeas
   
5. Once the rice and beans were cooked, I drained them and put the colander under the cold tap to cool off - then popped that in the bowl too
   
6. I dressed it with pumpkin seed oil (this is so good! I hadn't used it in ages and stumbled on it in Aldi last week!), fig syrup (you could use pomegranate molasses or a vincotto), salt and pepper and some strips of fried chicken.

It'll last a few days in the fridge, will travel well for a work lunch and is filling and high in protein (so keeps you feeling fuller longer).

Enjoy!