Thursday 4 August 2011

The Waxing Menu


We were discussing waxing at work on Friday. A heavily pregnant friend had dropped by on her way to her appointment.
“What do all those Xs mean?” bemoaned a colleague. “They need pictures.”
“It should be like a take away menu, so you order by number,” suggested another.
“Especially as we’re all in open plan,” I pointed out.

We got onto the subject of the accidental ‘all off.’

I told them about the memorable occasion when my daughters were with me for a said waxing appointment. They had gotten a drink before hanging out in the waiting room – equipped with toys and books. I could hear them over the partition as the little one was yelling ‘Mum! Which one are you in?’
“I’m here sweetie,: I called back.
“Can I come in?” she yelled for all to hear.
“She can,” encouraged the waxer, as I lay there, pantless, legs akimbo and her digging about my nether regions.
“You’ve got to be joking,” I replied, “I’ll never be able to afford the therapy.”
“Mum!!!!”
“No. You can’t come in. I’ll just be a minute.”

And a few minutes later….
“There you go, all done.”
I looked down. OMG. All done all right!
“Oh? Isn’t that what you usually have?” No. It is not!! But you can hardly put it back can you??

I got a text later on Friday from my pregnant friend: OMG it just happened to me! My baby better not come early and see this :(
MWW: Perhaps you need to reconsider Vagazzling?? A bit of bling at birth??

Have you ever had the accidental all off?? Come on.... I've told you about mine!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How long Has THAT word been around????? I feel really, really, really, really old but can't wait to try it out on my other OLD friends. And , of course the answer is NO!

Mother Who Works said...

Ha ha ha!!! In case you're interested, I did enquire about Vagazzling - it lasts about a weekend. For me? No. But the concept it pretty funny. Click the link to get all the details - and the pictures!!! MWWx

Mother of a Man-Child said...

Hysterical!! And yes, been there, done that. However I had agreed to it just before a holiday, with my seven year old daughter with me in the room (not planned trust me). What was most alarming is that the waxer didn't believe in clipping first - she just waxed the lot - long and short. OMG, I was trying to laugh in between the shrieks of excruciating pain, purely for my daughter's sake, and she was laughing too (because otherwise she might have hit the woman causing me said pain). Put me off for life I must say.

Anonymous said...

It's always startling when you realise they were being more than thorough, with a flourish.. and instead stark and severe..

Anonymous said...

I am sure this email broke some Internet policy at work ...

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