The Aldi Ski Sale

So Proof-Reader-Penny and I are dragging our families to the north of the northern hemisphere at the end of the year. Yep – the middle of their winter, with 4 hours of daylight and temperatures that could be as low as minus 30.

Such an adventure requires a top-up of the thermals and snow gear and what better time to do that than the famous Aldi ski sale?

Being virgins to such an event, our strategy was to start queueing a bit before 7.30am. Aldi opens at 8.30 and we figured we should get in a hair before those who thought lining up an hour before would be a good idea.

Penny got there before me and sent a text: she was at the front and there was no-one else there.

By the time the doors opened, it was packed.

As the roller doors were being raised, I started my 'snatch and grab' warm up routine. Sass told me to cut it out - no one was laughing. Not true. I was!

There'd already been words between an older, thin woman who'd apparently come early, gone away, come back and slotted back in behind us in the queue. A younger, larger women (I make this observation only because there's no way they'd be buying the same sized stuff) was not happy with this and let her know it. They bickered on for the next 15 minutes - so ridiculous.

In we went and it was surreal - people ran! They grabbed. They tried to sneak each other's stuff and that drew more words. It was quite the experience.

Stupidly, having gotten what we needed and loaded it into the car, I went back to do the grocery shopping. There were people trying on pants in front of the canned tomatoes, people leaning on the cleaning products trying on boots - the mayhem reigned on.

Back there today, there was still quite a bit of gear left - and not a sausage fighting for it.

Parking - The Podcast

Parking

I honestly think I was a better parker before I got a reversing camera.

I read an article on self-parking cars once, that concluded the best course of action was, in fact, to learn to park.

When I drove a van, that I think only had rear sensors, I was an excellent parker, but now I often seem to make a meal of it.

And as if my assessment wasn't enough, one of the chicks I used to row with was dropping her daughter at Sass's school to coach netball and had this generalisation to share about the mothers:

They're in their big black four-wheel drives, with all their cameras and beepy things - and none of them can park for shit.

Now, I'm sure that's not everyone - but it is me!!

The pianola

My grandmother had a pianola. When we were growing up and learning piano, it came to our place. And eventually, Dad had it restored and it arrived at our house about 20 years ago.

As things panned out, neither my siblings nor I were harbouring any musical talent. We looked, we tried, yeah - no. Same with my kids. They all had a shot.

Elle did group keyboard lessons in primary school. She was pretty bad, so I called the people who ran them and asked if we should have a crack with a term of private lessons. They told me to save my money!

Even though you don't need to be able to play, I reckon we've used the pianola less that once a year and with the pending renovations, it had to go.

I emailed my parents, uncle and brothers and asked if anyone wanted it, otherwise we'd be donating it to an aged care facility where I'm sure far more people will enjoy it.

My brother in Dubai, who's just downsized, offered me a Casio keyboard, should I want a replacement - I don't!

Dad called the aged care facility in the small country town where we all grew up and where the pianola had spent its formative years. They were happy to take it. Yay! I did quip that Dad could have first dibs on the play list when he moves in there - which he didn't think was nearly as funny as I did!!

Dad also arranged for the removalists who did a great price because we were donating it. They were meant to be here at 4pm on Friday - which would have been perfect as I was out - but they were late. Dang! We were going out so Geoff jumped in the shower at 5.15pm and the removalists arrived at 5.17pm. I told him to get out!

These were not your piano removal experts - just two guys and a truck - without a hoist, just a small trolley and a ramp. See, this is why I'd hoped not to be here. The process was so precarious, the poor old pianola groaned and complained quite a lot, the language of the blokes was explicit and getting out was a tight squeeze. I couldn't hang around. In fact, I had to go down to the shed and distract myself with work I was so anxious.

Finally, Geoff came in, collecting some beers for the equally traumatised removalists and saying even he couldn't believe they managed to get it onto the truck in one piece. (Geoff's usually pretty confident about such things.)

We also sent all the rolls; more fox trots than you can shake a stick at, and some more 'contemporary' ones like Elton John, Neil Diamond, The Beatles, Abba and Elvis. Something for everyone in that lot! I only hope they can get it of the truck in one piece at the other end so they can play them!!

Anyway - I did get a little footage of John Lennon's Imagine, in case I ever miss it!

BTW, if you're unfamiliar with a pianola, it's a piano that can also mechanically play by itself, powered by bellows that you pump by pedalling.