Swap, I hear you say, but I've fired two before this one and can only conclude they're all as crap as each other.
I'm not going to name mine - they're not getting any oxygen on this far-reaching platform! - but let's just say they have a tagline along the lines of Thrive On. I don't even know what that means. And never mind thriving, how about you just work?? For any telcos looking for a line, you can have this one for free; We Just Work.
It all started back in January when Mands and I sold our business and I was charged with unraveling the contract. There are so many instances of incompetence I barely know where to begin, but let's start with the paperwork.
Having completed the ream with the help of a staffer at the shop who conceded no-one would be able to find all those numbers on their own and providing authorisation from Mands, I left it with them to be faxed (yeah - progressive, right). Months later when nothing had happened, I went back to the shop to discover said paperwork had been popped in a drawer with a post-it note asking no-one in particular to fax it as that staffer had headed overseas for an extended break. Lucky them!
Once it finally went through, in about September, it triggered a visit from a technician who said he needed to change the modem. Fine, I said. (What would I know?) A few days later I popped back to the shop to say the old system had been disconnected - so what plan I was on? They didn't know. In fact, it was about then they revealed that the new modem was ADSL and should be coaxial. I was losing my veneer of politeness. The guy suggested that rather than pay for another technician, I could install it myself. WTF? They put the wrong one in and it's not as straightforward as he suggested as I had no idea where the port was and we now have so much stuff using the net - security, TVs, boosters - that would all need to be recalibrated. I signed up for the technician.
I was talking to Mands, who'd been hanging out to shut this account down for months. It'd been another couple of weeks so I said to go ahead the following Monday as it may expedite things. They cut me off.
Back to the shop I went. I asked if they all try and look busy when they see me coming - and was told I'm just one of many but yes, sometimes they do a quick paper, scissors, rock. I was so furious they gave me a dongle to access wi-fi until it was sorted. I got home and it didn't work. I made Elle take it back to the shop the next morning - they'd put the wrong code in. (Actually, she pretended she was my EA and said she was scared to come back without it being fixed... I don't know why.)
Eventually, a new technician arrived and installed the correct modem. The same day another arrived via express post. It's all or nothing with these guys. I was instructed to return the ADSL and second coaxial modem to the shop - which I did.
I also had to get our data guys in to reconfigure everything as the technician said he didn't do that sort of thing - of course not.
So I've now spent about 120 hours trying to get the billing resolved as I was charged - for everything!! I managed to get a few chunks credited back, it should be more but they've worn me down. Business and Personal departments don't speak, I've used the complaints service, I've waited on the phone for hours, not received promised calls back and yet, they keep sending me emails with subject line "How did we do?". I'm yet to fill one in because I've wasted enough time - but in the right mood, I could be tempted!!
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