Tuesday 20 August 2013

The Mothers Who Work Party

Not sure who to vote for? No... me either. Pretty slim pickin's I reckon. So much so that I'm thinking of starting my own party. I've mapped out a couple of critical policies and am keen for input but here's what I'm thinking so far.

1. National Lice Week.
I am so utterly sick to death of lice that I'm going to introduce a week when all kids across the nation must be treated at least twice in that one week. Yes, there'll be companies and businesses who will not be happy with my plan to eradicate the little blighters, but seriously peeps, I have had enough!!!

2. Dog Poo Non-Picker-Upperers
The next person who leaves dog poo on my nature strip will have their nose rubbed in it.
I'll add your nature strip too if you vote for me.

3. Road Rage
Anyone being rude and brutish on the roads will be dragged before a panel of angry mothers and given a proper telling off. That'll fix them.

4. Pick Up After Yourself
It will be law that everyone needs to pick after themselves as they go along in life. Not wait until after school, the weekend, the holidays to put that cereal bowl in the dishwasher - you will do it, now!

5. Lower The Driving Age to 14
A friend of mine suggested this one years ago. So fed up was she with ferrying kids to sport and social events she pledged her vote to any political party that would reduce the age to get a licence to 15. I'm going even harder - 14. Sue Cummings, this one's for you!

6. Help Out
When I ask you to tidy the bathroom, leaving half the crap on the bench and saying it's your sister's doesn't cut it. I don't pull your clothes out of the washing machine before turning it on. Just do the job. In fact, I shouldn't even have to ask, but we'll overlook that for this election. Penalty for non compliance will be the confiscation of a mobile phone to an off-location site for one week. There is no flexibility in this law. One week.

7. Stop Whinging
7. a/ For evey kid who whinges that they're bored, in spite of 29 electronic gadets at their finger tips, a room full of toys, games, puzzles and books, a basketball ring in the backyard and a shed full of bikes, scooters and other sporting equipment - you will immediately be awarded an hour's gardening duty. Two if you complain.
7. b/ If you open the fridge or pantry, stare at the contents and proclaim that there's nothing to eat, you'll be on dinner duty for a week. Add supermarket shopping if you complain.

Yes there are big issues to consider in the upcoming election - asylum seekers, climate change, unemployment, the economy - but I'm getting straight to the nitty gritty of what's really going to make a difference in the lives of we working mothers.

Please do feel free to put forward your policy contributions and to join the party!


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about failure to flush the toilet attracts toilet cleaning duties and reduction in quality of accompanying toilet paper? There are several sub classes to this offence - poor aim, refusal to lift the seat to name a few.

Mother Who Works said...

I'm hearing you. I reckon one workshop and we'll have all the big issues covered! MWWx

JayBee said...

I feel very confident in signing up a mother I know very well!!!!!! We elderly sympathise but have other priorities like better aged care facilities and more of them!

Mother Who Works said...

I'm that's true JayBee and your issues are equally valid, but I'm sure you could dig a little deeper and find some significantly more 'grass roots' issues that you'd like our party to address. What about shop assistance who literally look through women of a certain age? Kids who charge ahead of you onto the tram - no issue is too small for this party my friends!!! MWWx

Mother of a Man-Child said...

8. Every teenager over the age of 15 should have a paying job, and not expect their parents to fund their hedonistic lifestyle.
9. Have manners! Grunting, especially to parents, is not allowed.

Mother Who Works said...

Thank you for your contribution MMC. Please include penalties for breeches of policies.... go wild!!!

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