The Plebiscite

Politics (or maybe politicians?) really get my goat.

I'm am so angry today about the Australian Plebiscite on same sex marriage I could scream.

Seriously people, what century are we in? It will happen - even if by some crazy fluke it doesn't happen this time around, or even in my lifetime - it will happen.

64% of all Australian support marriage equality. And yet the government sees fit to spend well in excess of $150 million on a compulsory vote - the answer to which we should already know. In addition, they've tossed each side $7.5 million to get their side of the argument out to the public.

How can we be so wasteful when we have people sleeping on our streets, unpaid family carers at the end of their tether and begging for respite, when we have a child protection system collapsing under the weight of cases and a deficit that's tracking at $15.5 billion and rising??

Am I alone?

This makes no sense to me at all.

Yes, I know how it happened (don't get me started...) and I know it may not get through the Senate - but even that is making me mad. It's a decoy and keeping the politicians (and the public) from discussing issues that need discussion - and it's not marriage equality - surely that's a given. Let's talk about the appalling conditions we've subjected those poor refugees in detention to and more importantly, what we're going to do to fix it. Let's talk about climate change, tax reform, reconciliation, the reef, education.... so many options.

Okay - rant over and out!

Naughty Parents!

Sass had a choral performance at the Melbourne Town Hall last term. I don't mind a choir so thought it might be quite good.

Geoff caught the train to drop Sass off at the earlier time and I drove straight from work to meet him. There were literally hundreds of people standing around in the cold, we were hungry, could murder a drink and enthusiasm was waning. We hatched a plan.

Once permitted to enter, we positioned ourselves at the end of the row (although a lady with a baby asked us to move in a seat and we obliged - but told her we may have to leave...)

Geoff checked the program - Sass's performance was number 9 of 15. Another parent had checked what time it finished and we saw the first performance to confirm that;
a/ Non-auditioned primary school choirs don't resemble what you might hear at Notre Dame and
b/ It took 7 minutes including getting one group off stage and the next on.

Let's go....

Five minutes later we were seated at a table for two in the romantically lit Bistrot d'Orsay, instructing the white-coated waiter we absolutely, positively had to be out in less than 45 minutes.

A bowl of melt-in-mouth gnocchi with blue cheese, hazelnuts and rocket plus two glasses of very nice sparkling wine and I was in a much better frame of mind!

Back we dashed to see Sass and her group lining up for their turn to go on stage. Geoff's timing had been spot on.

On arrival, parents had been directed to sit upstairs - but now everyone was in and the ushers less attentive, we ducked in downstairs behind the waiting choirs. It was a much better view and Sass and her choir, I must say, were very good!

As they finished and came off stage, filing back to their place, Geoff called out to her and she popped over. We're doing the grab and go, he said. And we left.

I emailed her teacher to let her know we had Sass and were heading home.

Oh we felt so smug and clever and naughty - we had a lovely trip home.... until Sass remembered there was an all school finale she was meant to have sung in...whoops. Naughty parents!!!

The Perfect Job

I was at the physio this week (dodgy knee...) when the lady at the desk remarked that it was lucky she worked there given she has two kids who seem to need a lot of treatment. The implication of course is that she gets it free or at mates' rates.

It got me thinking about the perfect job.

Assuming you can still tap into all the staff discounts and benefits by working in an organisation for just one day a week, I was thinking the perfect line up  could look like this:

Monday, grocery chain. I'm not fussed - Coles, Woolies, heck - I even love Aldi! I have no idea what the discounts are, but over a year it'd have to be significant.

Tuesday, department store. Preferably one that has the brands of clothes I like, but I'd be prepared to compromise! David Jones or Myer would be ideal. Can you imagine a decent discount on clothes for all the family, kitchen stuff, manchester, presents, sunglasses, handbags, cosmetics - pretty much everything!

Wednesday, medical clinic. I need to find one that has everything - GP, physio, optical - all rolled into one. Ideally it'd also have a few 'cosmetic' services too if you catch my drift... that'd save me a bomb.

Thursday, auto services. My car has cost me as small fortune of late with various things wrong with it. I need to work a day at some car centre that will provide a discount on services, repairs, tyres, diesel and detailing - oh and an Uber-like driver service for when I'm not driving. That ought to cover it!!

Friday. Hmmm. I'm a little torn. My head says I should choose a bank/financial institution to get an excellent deal on debt and lower fees on super - but my heart is screaming champagne!! After all, it's Friday.... but if I save enough on everything else, perhaps I can afford my own champers?? I'll go the finance - I think my level of debt warrants it!!

So, what role will I be fulfilling at all these organisations that makes me so valuable they're happy to afford me these perks? I have no idea - but it'd be certainly worth investigating!!

Where's Sassy?

Sass loves to hide.

She likes to pop out and scare me!!

Or just stay quiet until I can find her.

Here's a selection of some of her favourites...

She is in there. This is a fave - it's my cupboard and she likes to sneak in when I'm in the shower for maximum fright effect.

Her cupboard.

On the chairs when they're pushed in under the table - hard to spot if you're not crouching on the floor!

Under our bed.

Behind a towel.

In the shower - often not noticed until you spot her in the mirror!

And perhaps my favourite because I could NOT find her for so long... can you spot her?

Parenting Tips

So I've been continually parenting for more than 23 years, I've been a Cub Scout leader and had hordes of kids grace our home - but there's still loads to be learnt.

A couple of great tips have come from my daughters' school. I guess they've had more experience than most - but they're just so good I need to share.

The first is 'I feel sick'. As we all know, it can be hard to diagnose a genuine 'I feel sick' from an 'I don't want to do what I'm meant to be doing/about to do.' The school nurse has nailed it; a nice big glass of antacid that she insists is drunk while fizzing.

mot

If you've not had the experience, trust me, it's hideous! If you really are sick, it may in fact make you feel a lot better (after a big burp!). If you're not, it's so revolting you may indeed, genuinely feel sick for a bit. But it's a sure fire way to sort the wheat from the chaff!! And if you were pretending to be sick, chances are you won't be trying that one again any time soon.

She also has a good stock of lozenges - not the sweet, buttery, delicious ones – more your eye-watering, breath-taking, eucalyptus ones. So you'd really want a proper sore throat before asking for one of those.

Tough love kids!

The other tip follows outdoor education. When the girls are all back on the bus for the long trip home, being very noisy and loud, talking, laughing, carrying on - apparently the driver simply turns the heater up to the max and guaranteed they'll all be asleep within minutes! (Don't ever do this if you're tired....that'd be dangerous.)

So there you go - always new tips to learn - even for this old dog!

The Big Clean Out

The Australian Government is so generous. You turn 50 and you're immediately gifted a poo-testing kit and, if you're female, a mammogram as well. No card. Just a letter and a kit.

And once you're on the kit register, they just keep coming.... although you do have to fork out $35 to participate, which I think is a small price to pay to have some poor sucker test your poo and have the peace of mind that everything is running tickety-boo.

Being the eternal optimist and reminding the kids regularly that 'we don't do drama', I wasn't fazed when the GP left me a cheery message to say my poo-test was positive and he was booking me in for colonoscopy. (Know now, BTW, that my optimism was warranted - I won't wait to the end to say that!)

I know heaps of peeps who've been through this, so I suppose it was just my turn.

The lead up is not fun.

Two days prior, you can pretty much eat chicken and white rice.

I also had a call from the admissions person from the hospital who ran through all the usual questions of my medical history. When I asked what time I could be picked up from the hospital, she said it would depend on how I was feeling. Violated? I proffered... she did laugh. (I actually stole that from Geoff's brother who's also been through this.)

One day prior, after a couple of slices of white bread toast, you get to eat NOTHING!!! I am not good at not eating. I love food. And on the evening prior, you get to drink the 'preparation.'

I had purchased the sachets of powder at the chemist and even the girl behind the counter couldn't help make gags like Don't make any plans after you've taken this!!

I drank all three sachets at the hourly intervals as instructed and a couple of hours after that - O...M...G!!!

Geoff's tip was track pants and no undies. I went with the first and not the second.

The response is urgent and liquid and the risk of sharting (a fart where you 'follow through'... you can work it out...) immense.

I fell into bed about 11, only to be woken by severe stomach cramps about 1am. Again, I poised myself on the loo. By this stage I was dehydrated beyond belief (you were supposed to drink water between sachets but they made me feel so sick I didn't) and in grave danger of passing out. It was freezing but I was sweating and clammy. Death was looking attractive. I was in so much pain I started weeping - I hadn't felt this wretched since giving birth. I couldn't even stand up to reach a towel or the bathmat to lie on the floor I was so weak. On and on it went....

Sometime later, I floated out of the bathroom, a mere shadow of my former self, and collapsed into bed.

The alarm went off early. I was due at the hospital at 7.15. The actual process and procedure were fine as you're under a general anaesthetic so one minute you're chatting and a moment later you're being woken up in recovery.

I mentioned to the doctor my violent reaction to the preparation product. That doesn't sound right, he said, next time, try the orange flavoured one.

That's next year so I'll let you know if that helps. I can hardly wait!