Use Of Force

Some great things came out of the long, seven-month winter lock-down here in Melbourne and one of those highlights was this podcast.

                                           

Written and narrated by my brilliantly creative friend Sarah, and produced with our old friend David, it's no wonder it shot up the Australian Apple podcast popularity list with a bullet.

Here's the blurb:

Female ex-cop reveals a world of violence, intimidation and lawlessness - and that was just in the office. 
Never intended for release, 18 months of intimate phone conversations with a woman who was nearly destroyed by the police brotherhood. A toxic mix of corruption, misogyny and high-risk offenders. 

Just six episodes - most around 30 minutes - it'll leave you stunned at how naive we've all been about what actually happens inside these bastions of patriarchy. 

I know many of my friends from adland got onto this early, but if you missed it, click on your preferred platform below to start listening.

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google

And a particular shout out to readers outside Australia, please share!! It'd be great for this to get the global recognition it deserves!

You idiots!

You may recall that when we built the shed about three years ago, I suspected the concrete slabs it was constructed from would be a prime target for graffiti. Having investigated a few options like outdoor wallpaper and vinyl wraps, I decided an original artwork was the go.

Relying on my best friend, Google, I tracked down a company here in Melbourne and commissioned the amazing Awes, who collaborated with his mate Mayonnaize to produce the art below.

(It's not actually curved - I nicked this pic off Mayonnaize's Instagram and not sure how he took it, but it does manage to get the whole wall in. It also wraps around the left-hand side to cover the wall facing that laneway as well. It's hard to get a shot, as it's big and in a confined space - I think this is from our neighbour's garage roof!)

The process was a bit of a leap of faith, as there were no designs, pre-drawing or agreement of what it was going to be, just an exchange of emails containing images to determine what we did and didn't like and then they just turned up as appointed and did it over a few days. 

As it turned out, I LOVE it.

Here's what it looked like beforehand. A vast improvement, I'm sure you'll agree!

And for the past three years, people have occasionally headed over from the 'hip' side of town to check it out or take a pic.

That was until about four weeks ago...

We were having dinner with family friends, and at precisely 12.14am, two IDIOTS came out of the laneway gloom and signed their tags on our art!!

How do I know this?

Not just because of the orange tags we discovered in permanent marker, but because we have security cameras that aren't hiding!! Look - here's one of them in action. Seriously, how stupid could you be? She even looks directly into the camera at one point as if to say, 'oh... there's a security camera....'

I can't even recall when I was last so incensed. How dare they draw on artwork - how disrespectful.

Contacting the company that organised the original commission, it took them just a day or two to reach out to their community and have the tags identified.  They apparently had words with the culprits, before assuring me that they won't be back. They're also arranging for the repair (at my expense, but it's not their fault, and more importantly, I don't want others to think that desecrating artwork is okay, and add more tags - so am keen to have it fixed.)

And no, tempting as it was, I haven't asked for names. I have no idea of the protocol among street art peeps - but they didn't offer, so I didn't ask. However, I did say that if they are speaking to them again, they might want to let them know the police are also looking for them and similarly, are using the tags to work out who they are - along with very clear security footage.

I mean really, what kind of idiot commits an act of vandalism under lights, with security cameras - and leaves an identifiable name?

Shutting up shop

This place is just down the road from us - a couple of doors up from the wine bar.

Geoff and I had been at the tile shop a couple of weeks ago (yes, that renovation is finally getting underway!) to pick up some samples and I commented that the line "As a soft touch for getting you back to life" makes no sense at all.

I was a bit surprised when I was walking to the Post Office yesterday to see it had been shut down by the police for operating as a brothel. Those signs stuck on with red tape are from Victoria Police and the Magistrates Court. I won't post close-ups - even though it's clearly public - because it names the accused.

So why only a bit surprised? It's certainly not the first. 

Myrna's Relaxation Centre popped up in the strip more than ten years ago. Retail around here mostly consists of high-end antique shops, a florist, interior designers, upmarket gift and homeware stores and more recently, a myriad of cafes. I was suspicious of Myrna's from the start. Their front window was adorned with dated lace curtains and plastic flowers - not very day spa-like.

The owner of Myrna's saw Geoff in his work truck and asked if he could install a basin upstairs. He did and later confirmed that it was in fact, a front for an S&M brothel that had an array of racks, whips and other equipment upstairs.

What was surprising was when not long after, our neighbours came over one Friday night for fish and chips, small children in tow, and the guy casually asked if either of us had had a massage at Myrna's? (Dear god.)

As it happened, when he went in and asked for said massage, he was asked how 'hard' he likes it. He conceded he did indeed like it firm. They then asked if he liked it to 'hurt', to which he looked aghast and said 'No!' At that point, they realised he had no idea what was actually going on there so he got your straight forward massage. He was so impressed with it, that he went home and told his wife that she really should pop in and have one, too!

We enlightened him as to the true business going on at Myrna's and suddenly that strange exchange made perfect sense.

Anyway, back to yesterday.

I sent Geoff a text about the massage shop above and later that afternoon, when he was returning the tile samples, he spotted two more.

I had seen these places but had noted nothing more than the Kmart bedside tables in the window.

Speaking to some passing friends from the 'hood yesterday, we agreed that if there are brothels around this area, we really don't care, as long as they're licensed, regulated and the workers properly cared for. But I was surprised when one said she'd read in the paper that they'd had underage girls working there. Geoff confirmed he heard the same thing from the owner of the tile shop. And that's not funny.

Slavery in Australia's sex industry is apparently rife so I can only hope that with these raids and closures, any girls not there of their own free will have been liberated. It's shocking.

The Party

Some years back, there was a spate of home parties here in Melbourne that got completely out of control, requiring police attendance. The main issue was open invitations on Facebook, leading to gate crashers and that combined with excessive alcohol led to violence and vandalism. Media attention was rife and the messages were clear - if you're having a party, ensure it has a closed guest list, alert the local police and for the young ones, make sure you have security.

So we were having a party at home about that time. Being the conscientious citizen I am, I felt it right and proper to let the cops know. I rocked up to the police station and the conversation went something like this:

Hi, we're having a party and I thought I should just let you know.

Yes, said the constable on duty, always a good idea. Let me get the book.

He dug out some beaten up book from under the counter and picked up a pen.

What date? he asked.

March 19th.

He wrote that down.

Address?

I gave him our address.

Number of people?

About 100.

Invitations?

By post.

That's good, he assured me.

Occasion?

My 40th.

He put the pen down and closed the book....looked me in the eye and raised an eyebrow.

We're really only concerned about teenage parties - but thanks anyway. 

I was dismissed.

How embarrassing.

However, I would like to add that on the night in question, the police did turn up twice to tell us to keep it down - so there - put that in your book constable!!!