Apple Of My Eye

It's funny, isn't it? How as parents, we believe our children are so amazing that we imbue them with all kinds of talents they don't actually have? But no - I speak not of my own children, but my father, my siblings and me.

Let me give you an example:
One of my brothers is a pilot for a Middle Eastern airline that entitles my parents to some lovely, up-the-front deals. They were due to travel on one of the first planes offering in-flight shower facilities. Here's how that conversation went:

Dad             So do you get an allocated time during the flight to have your shower?
Brother       I don't know Dad, I've never been on it.
Dad            Is there a time limit for how long you can be in there?
Brother       I don't know Dad, I've never been on it.
Dad            Do they give you shampoo and soap?
Brother      I don't know Dad, I've never been on it.

I believe it was about then that Dad did in fact believe that my brother wasn't just holding out. He actually didn't know. But it took quite a few goes before he could come to terms with the fact that there was something - and something to do with planes no less! - that his son did not know.

Similarly, whilst visiting said brother a few years back, we took a side trip with Mum and Dad to Jordan. I had arranged a guide for the duration, starting at the airport. Having collected our bags, here's how that conversation panned out:

Dad        Righto MWW! Which way do we go?
Me         I don't know Dad, I've never been here
Dad       So what does this bloke meeting us look like?
Me        I don't know Dad, I've never seen him.....

Anyway, it is very sweet that Dad believes my brothers and I are the Google of his eye.

'Fancy' can suck

I love my fancy European car. But I didn't love it when we were in regional South Australia for Mum's 80th and the keys got locked in it.

The small person responsible is very sad about the incident and doesn't like me to tell people. And fair enough, Sass - I won't mention it.

We rang the RAA and hours later, the guy showed up to demonstrate how many security features my car has that clearly no-one, including the RAA guy, knew about. The old wedge open the door and slip a wire in to open the handle doesn't work. Nor hitting the 'unlock' button. The car deadlocks. Which is great if some is trying to steal it - not so great if you're trying to get into it.

Plan B. The RAA tried to track down a locksmith. They couldn't make contact. And without casting aspersions on country-folk - after all, I'm one of them - I wasn't holding by breath that there'd be one within 300kms that would be able to get in.

At dinner, with Mum, Dad, their 93 year old friend Jess, my siblings, their partners and kids, we brainstormed options:

• Hire a plane, fly back to Melbourne, get spare key, fly back, drive home
• Drive Dad's car to Melbourne, get spare key, drive back and then drive home....
• Drive Dad's car back to Melbourne, post spare key to Mum and Dad and have them drive my car when coming down in about 10 days (I confess, I was NOT keen on this idea...)
• Have the car towed to the nearest town of size where by some miracle, they'd have someone who could get in
• Call the windscreen people, have the windscreen taken out, get keys, replace windscreen (I thought this was gold - until I called and they explained they can't remove a windscreen without getting into a car - damn)
• Smash a window

We decided to smash a window.

I called a relative who is a dealer of fancy cars to seek his advice. He said the back cargo window would be our cheapest option. We did a template to make sure the small person responsible could get in to retrieve the keys if necessary - all good. So we called the police (there are none in town but just so the nearest knew in case anyone thought we were stealing it), all drove into town and started taping the window.

A car pulled up behind. My brother who lives locally, gave a quick explanation. 'Yeah - I heard,' the guy said. Don't you love a small country town?

A crowd gathered, the hammer was swung - and about 50 strikes later it finally exploded. I put my arm through and discovered yet another new security feature - it alarms if locked and you reach in! Brilliant!

Thankfully, we could reach the keys from there - even if it was noisy.

That was 3 weeks ago. And I still have plastic taped over the window. Apparently that was NOT the window to break. It's expensive, there's none in the country and it needs to come from Germany - still waiting - but at least I know it's secure!

Adelaide: The Wrap (Up).

Although Mum and Dad were happy to drive to Adelaide, once they got there they parked their car at the hotel and drove no more until it was home time. Geoff and I were keen to explore, especially the wineries, so we discussed our options. I could drive our hire car and he could drive their car - nup - that didn't sound like fun. So in the end, I booked a tour. No one needed to drive.

The mini bus pulled up at our hotel at the appointed time and our smooth and dulcet toned guide, slash, driver (he'd had a career in radio in a former life and had the perfectly blow-dried hair to prove it) was waiting to shake my hand and introduce himself before we got on the bus. 'Hi,' I said and tried to whip my hand away to join Mum, Dad and everyone else on the bus. But Adrian's gentle shake became a vice like grip that prevented my getaway as he explained he really did need to see the Visa card I'd booked with.... if I'd be so kind.

After that somewhat rocky start, we were away!

Adrian remembered the names of all 24 guests aboard his bus and liked to refer to us all individually and single people out for special questions. It was kinda odd but kinda fun at the same time as we certainly got to know everyone else fast. Our day included a city tour, a sprint up to Mt Barker, into Hahndorf for a bite of lunch, back to town to drop of those that had (rudely) only booked a half day tour then off to the Barossa. A lot to pack into a tour but you quickly realise everything is pretty close by in Adelaide.

The architecture in the city is also quite beautiful and they've done a great job of blending the old and new. It may have stood out too because I was a bit underwhelmed with Perth's (sorry Lara and Di). We saw them applying copper to the sport stadium redevelopment and it looks incredible. They've extended their convention centre and it's hard to believe that the original was built it the 80s and was the first purpose built convention centre in Australia. Who said they were all backwards in Adelaide?

And check out their new Medical Reseach building! It's still under construction but it's amazing.

So, there you go peeps - Adelaide - not such a bad place after all!

Welcome to Adelaide

The train arrived in Adelaide at 7am, ahead of schedule so the Fremantle fans travelling up the back could catch their connecting buses and trains to Melbourne for the AFL Grand Final. I can only imagine that it was a journey filled with unprecedented excitement and anticipation surpassed only by the degree disappointment and heartache on the excruciatingly long journey home.

Kids, I said, I'll go get the hire car. I grabbed a cab and headed in to town. Three minutes later I was there but the office didn't open until 8am. I sat on the concrete stairs and waited while Geoff and the kids sat at the station and waited. Finally I got the car, plugged the station into my phone GPS and was off. Now I love GPS - when it's on the money, but I could see from the map it wasn't quite right. After an 8 kilometre lap of Adelaide, taking in the same sights I saw first time round, I finally pulled over and asked a cab driver. I'd missed the road into the station by about 10 metres - ahhhhh!!! So 2 hours after setting off, we were finally reunited. First stop, the zoo.

Adelaide has a great zoo and the only pandas in Australia that they pay a million bucks a year for the privilege, so they'd want to be bloody cute!!! And they were.

On arrival, we were met by a zoo rep who was selling animal encounters. It as $30 each to get up close to the giant tortoises - so $120 for all of us. Outrageous - but I guess they need to pay for those pandas. We passed. But when we got around to the tortoises, one was so close to the fence that I got the shot we would have paid $120 for and the girls (and all the other people there) could just reach over and give him (or her?) a little scratch. I think they need to rethink that deal. Or train the tortoise not give away what they can get people to pay for!!

It's a really lovely zoo, beautiful gardens, happy looking residents so if you're there, it's worth a visit, even though it probably takes a good three minutes to get there from the centre of town (yes, three minutes).

Mum and Dad had come to Adelaide and met us at the zoo. Geoff popped back to put more money in the meter but too late - we got a parking fine. But only $45 which is cheap compared to Melbourne.

The next morning, Geoff trotted out of our hotel early to top up the parking metre - he was 20 minutes late and yes, another $45 parking fine. Welcome to Adelaide!

It was the day of the AFL grand final so we headed down to Glenelg on the tram (such a novelty when you're from Melbourne - not!). We took a family selfie on the pier and then Mum suggested we find the Oyster Bar. Good plan, Mum. It wasn't quite lunch time but hey, we were on holiday!

Then back to the folks' fancy hotel to drink red wine and order a cheese platter and watch the footy. I'm not really into footy but I really did feel for all those Fremantle fans who'd been in the less luxurious Red Class of the train and then an eight hour bus ride - all at great expense to witness THAT.

Anyway....there was a baby Spiegel tent in the park over from said fancy hotel that had free 15 minute shows. We queued up for the first and it was so good we rushed around twice more and saw three before dinner. Adelaide does arts so well! So a quick dinner in the closest pub and another great day in Adelaide was over.

Daphne, a performer in Adelaide pouring a wine while hoola hooping.