The Run

I reckon I've done at least ten Run For The Kids runs and frankly, I ain't gettin' any better!

Of late, I've been doing weight training (having thought I was fairly strong but discovered I'm a weakling!!) and attempting interval training on the treadmill. I can't even remember the last time I ran 10kms, and this was - thankfully - shorter than prior years at just 12.8km.

The course took us over the Bolte Bridge, which is a killer gradual climb, this year coupled with a strong, too-warm headwind.

Doesn't look high - you really need to be plodding up it to fully appreciate the pain!

At the top of the bridge, a local radio station had a promotional team waving some pretty funny signs, including these, which spoke to me!

Keep running. The day will come when you CAN'T do this. 

You're not slow. You're just enjoying the course.

There were over 20,000 people running and walking, and as always, I put myself in the second fastest running division. I do this because you don't have to hang around and get to start earlier, but it also meant that although I victoriously passed about 8 people (all walking), I was passed by about 8,000 runners!! It's not encouraging 😟

Some of the 'crush' who shot past me

Worse still, I took so long my Spotify running playlist ran out, so it started serving up a random selection of whatever. As I reached the low point of the run, about 4kms  from the end, I got "I Hate Myself" by the Pretenders - a dreary number with a terrible message that repeats the phrase 'I hate myself' about 80 times in a row. (Seriously, look it up - you need to hear it to appreciate the full misery of the moment.) So not okay. But to change it,  I'd have to have pulled over to get my phone out of my armband, and I was terrified that if I stopped, I'd never go again. (That and my time which I didn't want to compromise.)

After the run

I use an app that tracks my time and was surprised to see I'd started off oaky with 6-minute kilometres, but less surprised that my average slowed with inclines and time. Anyway, I plodded the entire way and got a time that in previous years, I would have been happy with - when the course was 15kms!!

So now, like after every other run, I promise myself to be better prepared and fitter next year - which never happens!!

Natural Fitness

Do you think it exists? If it does, I don't have it.

But have you noticed how some people seem to have the ability to comfortably carry out long bursts of physical activity with seemingly no regular or relevant training? It's very annoying.

I live with two - possibly three - such people. The one I'm not allowed to blog about (Geoff) is probably the best candidate. He can surf, ride his bike, swim, walk for miles - all with ease - yet the only only time I've ever seen him run is when he set fire to the house (that's another story!). It's just not fair. This year he has been swimming weekly with Sass, training netball and doing weight training at the gym - but it seems fairly cruisey compared to my gruelling and clearly fruitless running.

As I've mentioned before, I am a crap runner. In fact, when this top appeared for sale in my FaceBook newsfeed, I wondered if someone had been spying on me. Never-the-less, it spoke to me so loudly, I was compelled to buy one.

I run...I'm slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter...but I run.

Having not run for months, Eleanor at least has the decency to let me beat her and look like she's about to puke - but only the once. After that, she seems to find her stride and come good - god damn her! In fairness, and as I point out to her, she does have youth on her side.

It does seem so unfair. If I take a couple of weeks off - even skiing or otherwise being very active - guaranteed during my next run I'll feel (and probably look) like a bag of wet cement.

Apparently some scientists think cats of all sizes purr to maintain fitness - maybe I should try and master that?!

But what do you think? Does natural fitness exist?

Re Run

I'm not much of a runner. I've posted before about my attitude to it. The fact that 'fun run' is an oxymoron. The thing I like most about running is when it's over. There are some days (not many) when I seem to run with ease and minimal effort. Others I feel as nimble as a bag of wet cement. And tragically there's no predicting which until I've started.

I did the 15km Run For The Kids this year. I was hoping to scrape in under 90 minutes but no such luck. In spite of arduous, boring and regular training, I did it in 92. Damn. And I really didn't think I could have squeezed more if I'd known.

So it was with some enthusiasm that I was talking to a physio that did it in about 67 minutes!! Okay, that is an amazing time and way out of my league - and she's probably a good 20+ years younger than me - BUT she did reveal technique has a lot to do with it. And I immediately booked in for a session.

Can I firstly say how disappointing it is when someone videos you and it reveals you don't look as amazing and athletic as you'd liked to have imagined?? Okay - I'm almost over that. Lucky it didn't put me off running all together!

Trying to change the way you run isn't easy. But already I can sense that it will make a big difference to my speed. Which my brother once unkindly commented was up there with most people's fast walking.

It is a killer on my calves and given most of my boots are already very snug in that area, I'm hoping to god that there's no building up there!

Anyway, I'll report back - probably in April next year when I do the next Run For The Kids!

PS - I know there's a video by a tampon brand about 'like a girl' circulating on FB - but I've always liked the term. It doesn't have to be derogatory. Mind you, I'm probably harsh about that sort of advertising - I don't like the Dove ads either. Perhaps a topic for another post.

Karma - not.

I was approached by a homeless guy last Friday afternoon. Sitting outside a city bar with a colleague, we were having a glass of wine and discussing work (really, we were!) when the guy apologised for interrupting and asked if we could spare a dollar.

He said he was staying a a hostel, they were looking after him but he needed a meal. I gave him twenty bucks. He thanked me and then pushed on. Can't really blame him, can you? And I suspect he'd already seen the fiver in my wallet. Could I spare another $5 or $6? He'd be right by Monday but needed to pay the hostel. I suggested he pop down to the City Mission, around the corner from where we were or even the St Kilda Mission, where I've previously volunteered, as either of those would feed him for free.

He assured me he knew all the places. He then apologised for allowing the smoke of his cigarette to drift into our faces. How much are cigarettes? $26? Anyway.... even if he spent my money on fags, good luck to him. He was a friendly guy and we all know it's a short trip from secure to destitute.

But I stood firm, told him I was done, wished him well and he moved on to the next table.

On Monday, I got up and went for a run. A rare occurance that won't be repeated too often. It was dark when I set off so I stuck to the main drag. Well into it,  I noticed a homeless lady on the other side of road. I've seen here around before carrying her four green supermarket bags with her belongings neatly folded into them. She was yelling and with great purpose, crossed straight over without looking, forcing a car to brake and angrily honk the horn. I was was watching but still running. What had got her attention? As I passed where she'd paused, she placed her bags behind a parked car, still cursing and swearing and very agitated - and then I realised!! - she was yelling at me! Not only that, once she'd lightened her load, she started chasing me, screaming 'F@#K OFF!!! JUST F@#K OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE!' Gee, did I pick up speed. She had quite a pace going and although appearing much older than me, she could run!

I tried to remain calm, contemplate what she might do if she caught me (a slap, a punch?) and kept running - fast. After some time, I mustered up the courage to glance behind to see her abandon the chase with a two fingered salute and head back to claim her things. Phew.

So there you have it, just because you do something you think is nice, don't expect it to come back. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Races and horses

It's been a big week of horse races in Melbourne. My buisness partner Mandy and I entertained clients at Oaks on Thursday and had a great day, if not a couple too many champagnes! We were extremely very tired on Friday (that wasn't a typo - we were extremely very tired on Friday!).

Not to be deterred, Geoff and I took the kids to Stakes Day, again On The Rails as the guests of some great friends. Eleanor's age was guess by a fashion icon at our carpark (and whom I'd just met) as being 16 or 17. He was bowled over to know she's 13. She and her friends spent committed hours getting ready - and I mean hours! If they put as much enthusiasm into their studies I'd be one very happy parent. Here they are on the way there, and one of Elle and me at the end of the day.

Yes, I was blonde Thursday, brunette Saturday - a whole other story....

I heard a story of a carpark in The Nursery a few years ago where the guys in the next carpark were having a buck's party. Nothing outrageous - just a great day at the races. A group of girls akin to the above walked past - 'Come in, come in!!!' the guys invited. 'They're 14,' came the whisper from the carpark next door - 'Get out, get out!!!" they screamed in utter panic.

After a solid 8 hours of standing in very high shoes, and being refreshed yet again by lovely champagne (me, not Elle!!) we faced the City2Sea Sunday morning. Yes, another of those ironic Fun Runs I've blogged about before. It seemed like such a good idea months ago before I realised it was the day after Stakes and had committed Elle and myself.

We were up at 6.30 and I glanced at the race info to check where the start was. 'Good news!' I exclaimed, 'it's only 10k.' What a relief! We thought it was 14. So weren't we surprised when the 10km mark came - and went - and it still wasn't over! I did realise it makes no difference to my running (if you can even call it that) whether the distance is 5, 10 or 15kms. On and on I plodded. Elle, unfortunately, had put in a big sprint at the 10k mark thinking it must be like the Run For The Kids and be just over the distance. It was only when she saw a flag marked 11km that she asked another runner - '14k darl.'  Of course she beat me - by a good six minutes, but I was still very happy with a time well under 90 minutes.

So after a week of races - horses and running - I came straight home and had a jolly good lie down!