As some of you know, Geoff and I have been together for over 30 years and chose not to get married - but can you spot the key word? - chose. I'm not crazy for the institution for me personally (although I do love a wedding!), but I have the choice. My gay friends don't.
Some people have wrongly assumed that being in a same sex de facto relationship affords all the legal benefits of being married anyway. My understanding is it doesn't. If a woman is on life support, it is possible that her family - perhaps because of prejudice and a lack of acceptance - can bar her lesbian partner from access.
As one of my gay friends points out, the issue is far bigger than marriage. The question, he says, is just subtext for 'Are gays okay?' - Yes or No.
Worse, some are using the platform to voice anti-gay sentiment. A (gay) FB friend posted a screen grab from a No page that said 'Bring back gay bashing' - bad enough, but made worse by the 5 Likes it had. Seriously - that's frightening. If you're the parent of a young gay person, that'll send a cold bolt down your spine.
It also strikes me that the people publicly campaigning for the No vote are those who stand to lose the most - power, standing, authority - and that's older and middle aged white males. First of all it was those uppity women who wanted equality (still trying...) and now, god dam it, it's the LGBTIQs!! And let's not even touch on race or disability.
Here's an idea; let's assume people are equal. Wow, eh? That's right - no boxes, no labels, just people. Because at the end of the day, we all have a mother, friends, enemies, feelings, varying talents, beliefs, weaknesses and faults. We all need shelter, food, water, to have purpose and be loved. It's pretty basic.
I do also believe in religious freedom - just don't inflict it on everyone else. If your beliefs prevent you marrying someone of the same sex, then don't.
Elle and I had a conversation about the issue of florists (for example) refusing to do flowers for SSMs because they don't support it. Initially I though that was probably okay - until you substitute black people for gay people - then realise how not okay that is.
Nor am I buying the argument of 'tradition'. Marriage is a relatively new concept, designed to control women and broker power and property. It's also evolved dramatically since its inception so I'm not sure which 'tradition' we're talking about. If we were that committed to 'tradition' perhaps while we're at it, we should get women back in the kitchen and financial dependent on men. That sounds like fun - not.
And frankly, I'm appalled at the argument that sexuality has some baring on the ability to parent. There are some pretty shit and often 'accidental' heterosexual parents out there and when you compare that to how much commitment and effort it takes for LGBTI peeps to become parents, well, you'd have to think they've given the subject quite a lot of thought. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but my point is simply that sexuality doesn't, in its own right, make you a better or worse parent.
I agree that some behaviour on both sides hasn't helped the case. I blogged some time back that slagging people off and name calling doesn't elevate anyone's argument - about anything - so I despair when I hear people who were voting yes are now not voting because they feel bullied by the Yes campaigners. It's not cool.
But, if like me, you feel #awkward about having a say in others' lives, don't let it stop you voting. The big fear at the moment is that a lack of participation by the yes camp could be the undoing of the vote. So tick and post people, tick and post.
