Product Plugs

I don't get paid for my opinions on this blog. That'll come as no surprise to anyone - I wouldn't pay me either. I work in advertising and this is my outlet so I'd probably struggle to play the game and talk it up. I've read some shockers on other blogs - paragraphs banging on about how amazing brand x bubble bath is - spare me! And I've spared you too. Okay - I confess, not by by my own choice - no-one's ever asked me -  but nevertheless you should be grateful!!

It probably also has a lot to do with the fact that in spite of blogging for nearly seven years, aside from a couple of pathetic 'please share on FB' I've done jack about growing my audience. Anyway, if you are a regular reader you'll know this blog is more about me wanting to write rather than a commercial venture - and just as well, hey.

Anyway..... there are a few products that with no financial incentive, I am happy to plug.

1. Nit Wits One Go. This product has changed our lives. You spray it on, start massaging and the little buggers just start dropping out - dead. Smells okay and apparently doesn't contain anything too toxic. We have been lice free for some weeks thanks to this product. And you've gotta love that because it means I haven't been blathering on about yet another infestation for some time.

2. Benefit's Brows A-Go-Go. This magical little kit was given to me for Christmas by the gorgeous Maria, my nail guru. It's also changed my life. If your brows fell victim to the fashion of super-thin any time - or like mine, several times - in the last 35 years and like me, find yourself with not much to work with - this is the kit for you! Especially with the current cosmetic emphasis on the perfectly defined brow. Just follow the instructions, dab one of the excellent brushes into the wax and colour and away you go. Love it!!!

3. KFC Spice. Okay, I haven't actually tried this product but my friends Penny C and Bec bought it for  me because the copy on the label is so funny. Good call girls! Have a read.

The Mothers Who Work Party

Not sure who to vote for? No... me either. Pretty slim pickin's I reckon. So much so that I'm thinking of starting my own party. I've mapped out a couple of critical policies and am keen for input but here's what I'm thinking so far.

1. National Lice Week.
I am so utterly sick to death of lice that I'm going to introduce a week when all kids across the nation must be treated at least twice in that one week. Yes, there'll be companies and businesses who will not be happy with my plan to eradicate the little blighters, but seriously peeps, I have had enough!!!

2. Dog Poo Non-Picker-Upperers
The next person who leaves dog poo on my nature strip will have their nose rubbed in it.
I'll add your nature strip too if you vote for me.

3. Road Rage
Anyone being rude and brutish on the roads will be dragged before a panel of angry mothers and given a proper telling off. That'll fix them.

4. Pick Up After Yourself
It will be law that everyone needs to pick after themselves as they go along in life. Not wait until after school, the weekend, the holidays to put that cereal bowl in the dishwasher - you will do it, now!

5. Lower The Driving Age to 14
A friend of mine suggested this one years ago. So fed up was she with ferrying kids to sport and social events she pledged her vote to any political party that would reduce the age to get a licence to 15. I'm going even harder - 14. Sue Cummings, this one's for you!

6. Help Out
When I ask you to tidy the bathroom, leaving half the crap on the bench and saying it's your sister's doesn't cut it. I don't pull your clothes out of the washing machine before turning it on. Just do the job. In fact, I shouldn't even have to ask, but we'll overlook that for this election. Penalty for non compliance will be the confiscation of a mobile phone to an off-location site for one week. There is no flexibility in this law. One week.

7. Stop Whinging
7. a/ For evey kid who whinges that they're bored, in spite of 29 electronic gadets at their finger tips, a room full of toys, games, puzzles and books, a basketball ring in the backyard and a shed full of bikes, scooters and other sporting equipment - you will immediately be awarded an hour's gardening duty. Two if you complain.
7. b/ If you open the fridge or pantry, stare at the contents and proclaim that there's nothing to eat, you'll be on dinner duty for a week. Add supermarket shopping if you complain.

Yes there are big issues to consider in the upcoming election - asylum seekers, climate change, unemployment, the economy - but I'm getting straight to the nitty gritty of what's really going to make a difference in the lives of we working mothers.

Please do feel free to put forward your policy contributions and to join the party!

Oh Yeah Baby....

Seriously, the topic of lice goes on as long as... well, as long as we continue to be infested with lice. I hope you're not bored yet, but this is a ripper.

You might recall from earlier posts that I did some research and discovered heat is the enemy of the nit and its egg. It was subsequently discussed by all and sundry in the neighbourhood.

Next thing, Geoff is telling me he can buy a device on eBay that will kill all the lice in half an hour while Sass just watches TV (or I watch TV - depending who's infested I guess) - for just $50. What?

So after the usual back and forth of me saying we need more junk around here like a moose needs a hat rack and Geoff saying why don't we give it a go, I acquiesced and the devise was purchased.

And looked what turned up? I know retro is in and this is a very stylish carry case, but the hairdryer inside - hilarious!

My mum, who's not one to reveal her age (she's a couple of footy seasons off 80) had one of these when I was growing up in a small country town. People, this appliance personified sophistication, modern technology and city chic in a single, small(ish). white zip-up case. Wow. It was a sight to behold. I was actually quite proud when friends were over and mum was zipping around from power point to power point with her head stuck in that flowery cap and the blower slung casually over her shoulder, banging on her hip. Kind of like those cool bike couriers you see around the city with their Crumpler bags.... yeah, maybe not like that!

She stuck it on my head a couple of times, but it was hot and uncomfortable.

So - back from 1972  - and here we are in 2013. Geoff sent me this pic of Sass while I was in Thailand for work (that didn't happen in the 70s I can assure you - but neither were there 7 year-olds surfing the net on their laptops).

When I got back from 16-lice-free days in Thailand, I reckon it was barely hours before I was scratching again. Ahhhh! So desperate was I that I actually dragged out the Ronson and slapped it on my head for a good 45 minutes. (I used to laugh that my mother always said a good 45 minutes - surely 45 minutes is just 45 minutes? I am becoming my mother....) It was as hot and uncomfortable as I rememebered it way back in 1972. But guess what? It didn't work! That's right.... after all that discomfort, I was still scratching. I think the bugs probably just enjoyed the little steam room spa treament.

They're baaaack.....

Lice. I am absolutely feed up with the little blighters. Bad enough that Sass has them - but now so do I! I have been itching and scratching for days.

I've been working on a charity event with girlfriends over the weekend and after a quick kiss hello - if I've forgotten - I did announce that I in fact, have lice, so maybe keep your distance.

Saturday night; pizza, a couple of glasses of red, relaxed, so I slipped into the bathroom and lather my head up with olive and tea tree oil before sliding it all into a plastic shower cap. Boy, Geoff was in for a treat!!! (In fact he was in bed and snoring by the time I got there - perhaps just as well!)

Sunday morning and Sass is also still scratching despite a treatment on Friday. I do her hair with the oil 'blend' and comb out more of the little suckers. I have a crack at combing mine - and lose two of my purple hair extensions!!!! Not happy. I only had them adjusted about three weeks ago - how very - bloody - annoying!! Still, I did manage to scrape out a few lice as well, so not a total loss. I then hair dried to the point my scalp was burning and straightened to kill any eggs.

And within a couple of hours.... yep, scratching. Bugger.

Two, sad, oily purple extensions that slipped out of my hair :(

The Plague

Me - looking for bugs on Sass

When we arrived in the States, we were required to fill out the above form. Can you make out question 11.(a)?
11. I am (We are) bringing 
(a) fruits, vegetables, plants, seeds, food, insects. 

Yep - bugs. Now you don't mess with US customs....and I was pretty darned sure we were bringing in insects as I looked closely at Sass's head. Hmmm. What to do, what to do...  In the end, I declared nothing.

And the little blighters are back - AGAIN! Elle was scratching too so we Googled the safety of filling a shower cap with Mortein and slapping in on her head. However, I read on the can that contact with skin should be avoided so was forced to abandon that brilliant idea.

What Elle's Google search of 'Is it bad to spray Morteen on hair for hed lice' (sic) revealed though, was Sydney Morning Herald article and forum that said 10% of all school aged kids have lice at any given point in time. In my experience, the concentration is heavily skewed to primary school.

The good news was, hair drying kills 55% of bugs and 98% eggs. They hate heat. A hair straightener fries eggs and bugs alike. The cheap conditioner and comb through does work. And finally, many contributors agree that the chemicals just don't work (perhaps Mortein does, sadly, we'll never know) - wondering if the lice have become immune.

Sass has been crawling into bed with Elle lately so she too has been itching. We tried a new remedy from the forum- olive oil and a few drops of tea tree oil mixed in. Apparently it smothers lice and eggs alike. She has hair as thick as a horses tail - and it seem to have worked a treat!

Meanwhile, Sass went off to school this morning with the straightest pony tail ever!

Any other ideas of ridding ourselves of this scourge will be gratefully received.

Bugs

There's nothing like a Sunday night spent scraping lice out of the small fry's hair. I was convinced she didn't have them, but a head full of cheap conditioner and a few strokes of the lice comb and there they were. Bastards.

Friday night she and Elle had dropped into a friends up the road. Sass must have been scratching because friend's mother donned glasses and dragged her into the light and declared lice. That night they foamed up (I prefer just conditioner...) and swanned around in the green shower caps that come with the treatment. I still wasn't convinced. But I've clearly been proven wrong. And clearly the chemicals didn't work.

I'm never sure then if I have them or I just go out in sympathy. I just start scratching. My mother, who lives interstate, says she starts scratching every time I tell her the kids have lice - so that's got to be psychosymatic. Lucky I  have a hair appointment of Friday and give my hair colour is complete and toxic, if I do have any, even my hairdresser agrees they won't survive that!

Years ago, Jaz and Elle were going through a period of infestation. It didn't occur to me to check George - he had a buzz cut and about half a centimetre of hair. But one day I saw him having a bit of scratch. I conditioned and combed and.....OMG!!! For such little hair, I've never seen so many big, fat bugs and middles sized ones and tiny baby bugs..... the whole spectrum. "George, you've got a metropolis," I yelled in fright. "They've had time to build cities and roads and shopping malls and basketball stadiums - they've probably elected a mayor - your head is teeming!!"

I heard that there is a chemist here in Malvern who swears he funded his fancy-pants beach house on the lice of this suburb. Not hard to believe.

So, back to Sunday. I felt obliged to text Sass's BF's mum down the road. The girls had spent much of the weekend together so forewarned is forearmed. Her response?  "SHNIT!!!"