Vale my beautiful Frelative

Are you lucky enough to have a 'frelative'? That's the term I've coined in honour of this amazing woman, Theresa or to me, simply T.

I first met T in 1988 when I started in advertising. We weren't particularly close but she was friendly and smart, and kind to the trainee (that was me).

T married Peter, who was also in advertising. The industry in Melbourne is a fairly small circle so perhaps it wasn't that surprising that a few years later, Peter was my boss. He was charismatic, ambitious and very good looking! Because we lived in adjoining suburbs, he'd regularly offer me a lift home as an alternative to taking the train, which I readily accepted. Tragically, Peter died in a car accident before he was 40. T never re-partnered - he was, literally, the love of her life.

It was after that terrible event that we became close. Not just T and me, but our families, including her and Peter's three beautiful children, Frankie, Gabi and Gianni.

We quickly became the 'relatives who aren't related', sharing family dinners, birthday celebrations, Christmas get-togethers, brunches and more.

Frankie would have sleepovers, babysit the kids, play dress ups, do craft, come on fun runs  with Elle and me - I often refer to her as my fifth or 'acquired' child. She spoke at both Jaz and Georges' funerals. Gabi also babysat and recently, our work paths collided with colleagues saying 'oh, right - so you're Gabi's aunt!' - yeah - pretty much! Geoff and Gianni share a love of music and have gone to many a concert together.

T used to collect George and take him to watch Gianni play basketball every week for a season or two. At that stage of George's life, he was wheelchair-bound and spent most of his weekends hanging out with us - so he absolutely loved these outings.

T was so thoughtful. We'd come home from holidays and find bread, milk and other essentials at the front door. Anniversaries, birthdays and life events were always acknowledged - for example, a tub of ice-cream dropped over for George's birthday after he'd died - because we all knew how much he'd loved ice-cream!! She'd often text to say she's dropped off a nut butter or new vegan chocolate or some other amazing product she's discovered because she wanted to share her find.

My friends loved T. She had the most incredible ability to recall the details of people's lives - because she was genuinely interested. She'd see someone a year later and ask how their son's uni course was going or how they'd enjoyed their holiday to the States. It was incredible.

We went to the same gym so before lockdown, I'd see her a couple of times a week - often in the same Spin class.

I don't have a sister, but T was as close as I think you'd get. The conversation was always unedited, she was always there if I needed anything - a kid picked up, dropped off, looked after - but there was never any obligation; which is what made it feel like family.

T was taken way too soon. Her loss of Peter so early in their life only consolidates the unfairness. But as we all know, life isn't fair and bad luck doesn't make you immune from more bad luck. 

So vale my beautiful frelative and I so hope you've been reunited with Peter. xx

Turkey

Straight from the oven

Tuesday night dinner for the relatives-who-aren't-related dinner

Yes, it's that time of the year! I've cooked two breasts so far and both have come up a treat. I bought a frozen buffet from the supermarket, took both breasts off and used the carcass for stock. For $45 it was incredibly good value.

The best thing about the buffet is it's all breast so it's juicy and tender and you just slice and serve.

I made a stuffing by first simmering sultanas and prunes in water, loads of cinnamon, lemon juice and lemon rind. There might have been some orange juice and rind too. Once the fruit had puffed up I added a few slices of spicy fruit loaf - as usual, because that's what was on the bench - but it worked really well. I folded a big can of pie apples into that now mushy concoction (you can stew your own if you want, but why??) and some toasted almond slivers. I then just push the stuffing under the skin of the breast, secure with a couple of skewers and Bob's your uncle. 

Pour melted butter over the skin, and I used a salt, lemon myrtle, pepper, macadamia mix to sprinkle over the top but just salt and pepper will do. Cook at 180C for about an hour and 40 minutes and you're done. In fact, I got home on Tuesday at 4.50pm and we were eating this at seven. But the girls (Frankie, Gabi, Elle and Sass) did a brilliant quinoa salad and the dessert below.

May your turkey be juicy and perfectly cooked this Christmas!