The Perfect Job

I was at the physio this week (dodgy knee...) when the lady at the desk remarked that it was lucky she worked there given she has two kids who seem to need a lot of treatment. The implication of course is that she gets it free or at mates' rates.

It got me thinking about the perfect job.

Assuming you can still tap into all the staff discounts and benefits by working in an organisation for just one day a week, I was thinking the perfect line up  could look like this:

Monday, grocery chain. I'm not fussed - Coles, Woolies, heck - I even love Aldi! I have no idea what the discounts are, but over a year it'd have to be significant.

Tuesday, department store. Preferably one that has the brands of clothes I like, but I'd be prepared to compromise! David Jones or Myer would be ideal. Can you imagine a decent discount on clothes for all the family, kitchen stuff, manchester, presents, sunglasses, handbags, cosmetics - pretty much everything!

Wednesday, medical clinic. I need to find one that has everything - GP, physio, optical - all rolled into one. Ideally it'd also have a few 'cosmetic' services too if you catch my drift... that'd save me a bomb.

Thursday, auto services. My car has cost me as small fortune of late with various things wrong with it. I need to work a day at some car centre that will provide a discount on services, repairs, tyres, diesel and detailing - oh and an Uber-like driver service for when I'm not driving. That ought to cover it!!

Friday. Hmmm. I'm a little torn. My head says I should choose a bank/financial institution to get an excellent deal on debt and lower fees on super - but my heart is screaming champagne!! After all, it's Friday.... but if I save enough on everything else, perhaps I can afford my own champers?? I'll go the finance - I think my level of debt warrants it!!

So, what role will I be fulfilling at all these organisations that makes me so valuable they're happy to afford me these perks? I have no idea - but it'd be certainly worth investigating!!

Parenting Tips

So I've been continually parenting for more than 23 years, I've been a Cub Scout leader and had hordes of kids grace our home - but there's still loads to be learnt.

A couple of great tips have come from my daughters' school. I guess they've had more experience than most - but they're just so good I need to share.

The first is 'I feel sick'. As we all know, it can be hard to diagnose a genuine 'I feel sick' from an 'I don't want to do what I'm meant to be doing/about to do.' The school nurse has nailed it; a nice big glass of antacid that she insists is drunk while fizzing.

mot

If you've not had the experience, trust me, it's hideous! If you really are sick, it may in fact make you feel a lot better (after a big burp!). If you're not, it's so revolting you may indeed, genuinely feel sick for a bit. But it's a sure fire way to sort the wheat from the chaff!! And if you were pretending to be sick, chances are you won't be trying that one again any time soon.

She also has a good stock of lozenges - not the sweet, buttery, delicious ones – more your eye-watering, breath-taking, eucalyptus ones. So you'd really want a proper sore throat before asking for one of those.

Tough love kids!

The other tip follows outdoor education. When the girls are all back on the bus for the long trip home, being very noisy and loud, talking, laughing, carrying on - apparently the driver simply turns the heater up to the max and guaranteed they'll all be asleep within minutes! (Don't ever do this if you're tired....that'd be dangerous.)

So there you go - always new tips to learn - even for this old dog!

Essential Summer Reading

How's your summer reading going?

I've ticked two must-reads off my list so far; my car's manual and Jane Austen's Persuasion.

The first was quite the revelation! I didn't even know I had fog lights, but now, should I ever find myself in fog, I know I have them... and how to switch them on! I've also resolved the pesky issue of a side mirror that's always on the wrong angle - apparently I'd inadvertently set it like that as part of my seating preference. Who'd have thought? Anyway, if you get time, it may not be well crafted and there's certainly no great use of language but reading about all the buttons in your car can turn out to be a pretty good use of reading time.

Just to break things up, I also read Persuasion. Elle's doing English Literature this year so I said I'd read the books too, because as you know, I have an opinion!

The first 20 or so pages were heavy going, I concede, but much like watching a Shakespearean film, after the first bit your brain seems to miraculously adapt and you're away! I actually quite enjoyed it, but not having 'studied' a book since I was at school, it'll be interesting to see if I can answer any questions other than who ended up with who! (It's okay - no spoilers here just in case you're chomping at the bit to read it!)

Next on the list is Richard Flanagan's Wanting. I've only just started and it's already harrowing.

But... I am already feeling very smug as I've spotted the connection! They both have one-word titles. Surely that's it??

Kids in trouble.

The boarding school I went to is in trouble. Big trouble.

There were things that were going on before, during and after I was there that are heinous and now, along with many other institutions, it's all being exposed as part of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

Dad asked me on the weekend if I knew any of the named staff, accused of, and in many cases charged with, paedophilia. In fact, one was my English teacher. Many others are also familiar.

I was recently recounting to some friends how when I was at school in the early 80s, serving students alcohol at a Sunday lunch or Saturday night dinner with a house or head master was just what happened. I know some of the boys were regularly offered alcohol by masters and tutors in the privacy of their study. And I distinctly recall cask wine being freely available to all who attended an evening woodwork exhibition. My, how things have changed.

Dad said there were paedophiles at his boarding school too, back in the mid 1940s, and we agreed that the exposure of events was a good thing.

There are those who hanker for a time gone by, when things were simpler and everyone was trustworthy - the police, the government, the church. But in truth, that's a fantasy. I subscribe to the idea that knowledge is power and being alert to what can happen is the better option.

The school is handling this crisis well. They probably have a good PR agency advising them on crisis management, but they're keeping up regular and frank communication, encouraging past students to speak to the Commission as well as offering free counselling.

I feel physically sick hearing of the helplessness of so many of the children, now adults, who have told their stories of being repeatedly subjected to cruel and predatory behaviour by those in authority. Not just at my school, but all of those institutions and varying government and religious persuasions  across the nation.

I was even more sickened to hear on the radio a couple of weeks ago, that there had been 46 reports of abuse of children in care in the preceding two weeks, here in Victoria. Yep, 46.

So it's not just a painful history, it's an everyday reality. To quote the Commissioner; 'There's still a lot of very sad children out there.'

Formal Business

I tell you what, these school formals are big business. Elle is currently having her hair blow waved for her Year 11 formal and it's got me thinking about what an event like this generates.

Here's my estimation per 'couple':

• Ticket for student and date   $190
• Frock  $130 (I've just picked an average - hopefully some are wearing something they had or borrowed, some are very expensive!!)
• Shoes $150
• Accessories/bag/Hollywood tape/special bra to fit dress - $80 (I'm not kidding - I'm guessing every one has had a heap of 'extras')
• Nails  $40 (toes and fingers - again averaging shellacs, manis and pedis that could have that over $100)
• Make up $90 (yes you get it back in product, but product you'd not otherwise have bought so that doesn't mitigate the damage)
• Spray Tan (most girls now look like come from a different ethnicity than that to which they were born) $40
• Hair $30
• Transport from pres to event, from event to after party $40
• Corsage $30
• Button hole flower $12
• Some extremely kind and generous parents are hosting pres and the after party - so I have no idea what that adds - let's have a stab at $60 for both (including parents at the pres) so $120
• I'm assuming the boys had a suit and, if necessary, can wear their school shoes!

So about $952 per student, including date. What the heck - let's call it a grand! I had no allowance for eyebrow waxing or eye lash extensions or the essential hair cut and colour two weeks ago -  so I think that's not unreasonable! In fact, it's probably a tad light on.

So if there's 100 of the year level going, there's $100k!!

Not to mention the time running around and organising and appointments and emails of consent because they're all under age.....

You'd think they were getting married!

The school doesn't endorse a Year 11 formal - and I don't blame them. Again, some incredibly fabulous mothers have pulled it all together.

It's on tonight and the excitement reached frenzy point about.... let's think.... a week ago? So much so that in fact, they're all a bit over it already. Some have gone off their dresses, their shoes, their dates - the whole idea. Which might be just as well as I was worried that their expectations were such that they could only be disappointed.

Anyway, they will have fun and create some great shared memories with what will turn out to be some life-long friends - even if it does cost a small fortune.

The Drive-By

Week two of Sass's new school and she forgot her blazer.

She realised as I was dropping her and Elle off.

I thought she was going to cry. She had Assembly that day and had to have it.

Okay, I said. I'll go home and get it - wait outside the gate.

I drove home, found the blazer and drove back to school. It's about a 15 minute round trip which isn't bad except being late to class is almost as bad as not having your blazer.

I was both surprised and relieved to see Elle had stayed with Sass. In the interests of time and because the 16 year old was there, I checked the rear-vision mirror to ensure there were no cars behind me, put the driver-side window down and threw the blazer in their direction. It landed on the road. I had also checked for on-coming traffic. (See.... very responsible!)

Elle shot out and scooped it up before anything did appear to run it over.

Sort of like this - but bathers and blazers, not a banana skin!

It is a trap; working from home and being so close to school.

Here's what happened on another occasion.

Text from Elle: Mum, I forgot my bathers and I have swimming in PE. Can you bring them up at recess please? x
Me: Really?? I'm working... Oh okay. Can you stand out the front? x

I grabbed said bathers, drove up at the appointed time, lowered the window and threw them at her.

What?? No towel? She howled.

See, here's the problem with modern-day (ie brief) communication; I assumed she had everything but her bathers. As it so happened, she had nothing. Oh well.

Dry yourself with a sock! I offered, as I drove off.

She hasn't forgotten her bathers since.

Six, five, four, three.

Four years ago, there were six of us living here. The kids were 15, 13, 10 and 3. George and Jaz were both at Glenallen and although Jaz's status was palliative, she was still getting to school about three days a week and staying out of hospital. We were busy with usual family, work and school activities, but we knew it was only a matter of time. We were looking forward to camping at Bright for Easter - and we got there!

Jaz & Elle 2006, aged 11 and 7.

This time last year, there were five of us living here - although George was still in hospital after his spinal surgery to correct his scoliosis. Unexpectedly, he nearly didn't make it - which you may have read about but feel free to recap on this link. Thankfully he pulled through. We had hoped to camp at Nagambie. We didn't get there.

From October, there were four of us living here. Not only that but there was no equipment and no one with a disability. Of course I'd prefer there was - it'd mean George was still with us, but that's not the case. Our routine has changed dramatically. It was early mornings to get George (and Jaz prior to that) up, dressed and fed for the 7.10am bus pick up, the broken sleep and constant worry during the night that he was okay and still breathing, still in bed and not on the floor, the keeping track of five tube feeds a day and countless medications. Now our routine is what most people would consider  to be 'normal', although it's new to us. I have reflected often that for some families, due to illness or accident, they find their world turned around in the opposite direction - to go from 'normal' to suddenly having to care for someone. I'm sure that would be much more difficult.

And now, there's just the three of us living here. Elle is at boarding school and people ask me if I miss her. In honesty, I don't. I know she's having a great time and is safe and happy. I think I still miss George and Jaz so much there's no room for any more 'missing' - and there's really no need, Elle will be coming back.