A very big glass of reality

We were watching a ridiculous ‘reality’ TV program when we were away with friends earlier in the year. It was about a couple of travel concierges who were struggling to ‘work together’ to pull off a ‘perfect’ weekend for the American Vogue travel writer. (My excessive use of ‘quotation marks’ is quite deliberate…) They looked like they’d had more ‘work’ done on themselves than they’d ever actually exerted.

So here are these two women, who have ‘issues’, talking about how each other makes them ‘feel’ but they manage to ‘work well together when it really counts’. That’s right, a review by the Vogue travel writer – not the UN solution to Sudan or Sri Lanka.

To top off this inanity, the travel writer and her boyfriend arrive at this glamorous ‘ranch’ in an extravagant sports car, ready to lap up the luxury of the tastefully arranged flowers, the French Champagne, the romantic picnic, the ‘couples’ spa treatment/retreat, the horse ride (‘he’ was quite pleased with the idea of being a cowboy – but couldn’t ride to save himself), the limousine ride to the spectacular restaurant, blah, blah, blah. You get the picture.

She, ‘naturally’, has a mane of thick blonde hair, is fashionably thin (but still eats everything….), a Botox-smooth face, veneer-perfect teeth in the bee-stung pout, beautifully dressed and oozing insincere gratitude. He is ‘mature’, ruggedly handsome, very metropolitan and just a little bit goofy. They both look more 40s than 20s. (I should add, I’m not absolutely certain she was the travel writer for US Vogue….but she was from some fancy-pants magazine doing a critique.)

It was all just too much.
“I reckon they need a really big glass of reality”, I commented.
“Yeah,” agreed Trevor. “Like a couple of kids. That ought to do it.”
“Mmmm. Maybe twins. Oh, I know, one with disability. “ I added. “With some serious behavioural issues.”

Yes, we agreed, that should do it....