There are key milestones in a child’s life that bring joy to our hearts. The first smile, the first few steps, the first words and of course, the first time they say ‘I love you Mummy’ with such conviction it makes you want to weep.
But there are other milestones, perhaps less celebrated, but never the less equally significant.
Like when they innocently ask, ‘Mum, what a c&*t?’
There have been conversations about this milestone as any mother who’s experienced it can describe the exact circumstances, so traumatised are they by the question. It’s akin to where were you when you heard about 9/11 or when Princess Diana died.
So I was driving. My son was sitting in the front seat, two of his sisters in the back with one of their friends (I really hoped the friend wasn’t going to repeat any of this when she got home, but as the youngest of five, I figured we were fairly safe) when he dropped the big ‘c’ question.
Tempted as I was to say, “Sweetie, can we run by the office? I’ll flip through my Teledex and give you a couple of examples…” I refrained and just explain the technical definition. I then thought it best to give some context. It may not be his finest moment if in Family Life (ie sex ed), he uses the c-word to describe a vagina. Context given, I imparted the sage advise that he not use the word because as an 8 year old, if it’s within ear shot of any adult, that’s a game he won’t win.
Another memorable milestone is when they tell you they hate you, with such conviction it makes you want to weep.
The first time is a real slap in the face, but really, as they become more tweeny, teeny and precocious, and gets used with increasing regularity, it does loose a lot of impact. They really should have saved that one up for a special occasion. It’s now reached the point when even the four year old, following the lead of her older sibling, will yell ‘I hate you Mummy!’ Once it would have cut me to the core, but now, my response is generally, ‘That may well be, but you still have to pick up your stuff.’
5 comments:
Here is my car story. I had four 8 years old in my car a couple of weeks ago - Katie's birthday party - when we drove past a Condom Store. Giggles from the knowing: but what is a condom? from the others...whispers...finally I decided I had to tell them in a simple way. Dead silence, then one said it all: "Yuch." I pictured them going home to tell mum and dad what they had learnt at Katie's party.....!!!!
And don't forget the erectile disfunction ads which I am happy to discuss with my own children, but not sure how other parents will react if I tell their children. My son has made me swear not to tell his friends where tampons go ... "mum, nobody elses mother talks about that stuff".
I'd love to know exactly how 'Anonymous 1' explained condoms - I might need that info one day! And yes, BM, I'm also accused of being too open. Funny to think how conservative our own mothers were and how that tide has turned!!
Anonymous 2 - thanks again for typing. I'm hearing you!!
Here is my milestone moment (from the child's perspective):
I first learned what c&*t meant when I was playing scrabble with my older brother and my mum and I put it down as a word on the board. Yes, I put c&*t on the scrabble board.
I'd heard the word before, so I knew it was legitimate (and potentially could have got me a decent score) but I just didn't know what it meant!
Needless to say, my older brother went bright red with embarrassment - probably because I'd overheard the word from him in the first place! And my mum, after almost falling off her chair in shock, politely asked me to remove the word from the board and then quietly explained to me what it meant.
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