The Kmart Kart Game

Given here in Melbourne we're back in lockdown, you'd think I'd be churning out blog posts - but there's really so little going on there's not much to write about. Until now.

I've been after these black, glass-topped side tables from Kmart for months. They'll be perfect for your cuppa (yeah, okay - wine!) when watching the endless hours of Netflix/Stan/SBS/FTA... and they're $39. What's not to love?

They've been out of stock for months. When we weren't locked down, I even checked in-store, where empty shelves across many categories confirmed reports that the supply chain - mostly from China - has been affected by COVID.

Elle and I have been checking online from time to time to see if they're back and weren't we thrilled to see them - yay! I popped them in my cart and then realised I needed to get to $45 to qualify for free shipping. I needed to get something upwards of $6 - how hard could that be? And here's where the game started.

Underwear in our sizes was out of stock. We tried a hair clasp. The process is that you need to add the item to your cart and then attempt the checkout - that's when you discover the hair clasp is out of stock, Damn. Next was a cheap fashion necklace, then another - nope, both out of stock.

I know, I thought, a book! I Googled bestsellers,  a  couple of reviews - time was ticking and my tables were waiting. Elle was getting panicky. I threw one in the cart and proceeded to check out - the book was out of stock. I chose another - same deal. I selected a random title - also out of stock. Clearly, there are no books in stock.

What else, I  pondered? I know! A new laundry basket! The handles on my tubs are broken - I could do with a  new one - and, miracle, it was in stock!! I checked out and was beside myself with a deep sense of achievement - tables, free shipping and a random laundry basket.

My elation lasted until the next day when I received an email from Kmart to advise that my tables were out of stock and that they'd issued me a refund. Next was an email from Australia Post to say my parcel from Kmart was on its way. And here it is.

No tables but a $12 laundry basket (free shipping) I probably could have lived without. Never mind.

Powering Down

Other than acquiring some new and whacky hobbies over iso, I've also used the opportunity to pay more attention to that fun, family activity - finances!!

Top of the list was the electricity bill. 

I'm with a supplier that nattily tracks our expenditure and compares it to our average. Now I appreciate that we've all been home and winter is upon us, but dear god, how could we spend so much?? In March and April, it was $30-40 a week, but in June, it just kept going up until we cracked $100. Now there's a PB no-one should be proud of.

The real mystery was why were the weekends less painful than weekdays when given our routine, every day is pretty much the same. Here's an example.

The obvious culprits when the weather turns are heating, hot water and the dryer - but to add to the mystery, in our house, those three are gas. 

I rang the energy company and discovered that the price of electricity during 'peak demand' costs more than DOUBLE off-peak. Added to the explanation is that 'peak' runs from 7am until 11pm. That's not PEAK - that's pretty much all of my waking hours!!

I believe some companies also have a 'shoulder' but I'm guessing when it's all said and done, it evens out to be the same; ridiculous!

And we might even pay higher rates in winter. I Googled that and couldn't find a clear answer. 

Can I just point out this is only electricity and that our solar is currently putting almost zip back into the grid.

In an attempt to stem this hemorrhaging of money, I:

• Reprogrammed the bathroom floor heating and pond filter to go hard between 5am and 6.50am
• Ran the dishwasher from 11pm
• Used the 'delay' button on the washing machine to run during the night (I'd wondered what that was for! Poor Gary the cat sleeps in the laundry and may not appreciate it - but as he's making no financial contribution to the household, tough luck!)

I have also attempted to get people to turn off lights as they leave a room - but that's still a work in progress.

Anyway, just with those changes, here's what happened! We've whittled $20 off it. And saved some carbon.

Not exactly a holiday but better in my pocket than theirs!

Painting by numbers

If you're anything like me, you've always pooh-poohed this style of art. In fact, I still don't think it is art - it's really just a different read on a puzzle.

Having literally just completed the second of two massive jigsaws - 1000 and 1500 pieces - the kids gave me an Aldi paint by numbers kit for Mother's Day. I also scored the Jacinda Ardern book, "A New Kind of Leader" and a plate of home-made jelly slice. Winner!!!

Mother's Day was back in early May, and I finished the painting yesterday. Here it is.

That, my friends, was a bloody marathon! Here are a couple of progress pictures, to prove I didn't snip the image off the front of the packet.

Yep - Gary walking over my 'masterpiece' and 

having a little drink from the brush water...

And for reference, here is the packet. I'd describe the outcome as more of a facsimile or a likeness, rather than an accurate depiction. And once you get into one of these, you quickly discover why.

Before embarking on this project, I näively assumed paint by numbers was as simple as working your way through the provided colours and fill in the spaces with that colour. How wrong I was! Yes, some colours are straight out of the pot, but others require mixing - and not just two, sometimes there are three.

The instructions said that if two numbers were indicated, mix in equal parts. So I was surprised to see areas requiring 10/6 abutted next to areas of 6/10. More confusing was that some of these complex colours mentioned numbers - like 26 and 19 -  that weren't supplied 😳.

To add to my frustration, being the rule follower that I am, on more than one occasion, the colour I mixed looked pretty bloody identical to a previous combination of different colours! At that point, I confess, there may have been some rouge, 'off-piste' and ad-lib painting.

Other issues included incredibly teensy-weensy areas and numbers. I don't normally wear reading glasses, but was forced to commandeer a pair of Geoff's x2 magnifying glasses to see what the heck was going on. What this also revealed was that once into the very detailed areas, some spaces were absent of numbers. (No - they weren't meant to be white as they were all numbered 1.) Couple that with the single 'one size does NOT fit all' brush that comes with the kit and the degree of difficulty is ramped up several notches. Here's an example, which I have blown up so much it's actually gone fuzzy - to make my point. 

So - would I recommend it as an iso-hobby? It's no better for your neck and back than a puzzle, it takes at least as long and ruined my thumb-nail opening those silly little pots, but a least with a jigsaw, once it's done, you can pop it back in the box and pass it along. What on earth do you do with a dodgy piece of 'art'??? I'm thinking about the recycling bin.

Product reviews

Many years ago, I was having one of those days at the office. You know the type -  when you reflect and ask yourself; is this really what I want to do for the rest of my working life? And the answer was a resounding I don't think so!

I can't recall what prompted it. Probably one of those motivational staff training sessions that's meant to fire you up for your current job, but instead, has you questioning what the heck you're doing with your life. Pretty sure that's never what management had in mind when they forked out the big bucks for one of those fancy consultants.

Having thought hard about what I'd like to do - regardless of qualifications, experience, opportunity and feeding my kids - and I came up with day-time TV infomercial presenter. Yep - you know the ones -  asking the inane questions and looking enthusiastic about a blender that slices and chops. I thought it'd be fairly glamourous, albeit potentially vacuous, but hey, it would play to my key strength - talking!! I figured the hours and stress would also be a fraction of my current role.

Later that day, I was chatting to my esteemed colleague, Annie, head of media and just a sensible, smart, amazing woman.
Annie, I pondered, do you think those people who present infomercials on daytime TV get paid much?
No, she said, without hesitating or even asking why I was asking. I think they just get ex-models who are too old to keep modelling. 

Yep - that's me out on all fronts!

Annie was definitely the right person to ask. When she moved overseas, she also had a career re-evaluation. I recall prima donna ballerina and judge were two options she was toying with  - she neither studied dance nor had a law degree. We all thought she should throw spy into the mix - she would have been great at that!

Anyway, about three years ago, I was bombarded with ads for magnetic eyelashes on Facebook. So much so that I caved and bought some. Having confessed to this purchase, I was asked by several people to let them know what they were like. I should have done a blog post - but anyway, here's that review:

After talking about such products over many drinks one night (before iso) and my confession re the eyelashes, my friend, Anna, bought a hairdryer/styler she'd seen on FB - and let me know it was coming my way for a review.

 And here's it is - in two videos (I can't edit....)

 

After that, she sent me a text saying she's secured yet another questionable product for me to try. And here's that review.

So I dunno - maybe there is still time for that career change! 

Winner, winner...

So - here we are in week whatever of iso. I first lost track of the days, now I've lost track of the weeks - months will be next.

Like many people, we've used the time to get around to jobs that have been on the backburner for goodness-knows how long. One such task was taking a random collection of lotto tickets to the newsagency to see if we'd won a pile of money. You may ask why we hadn't gotten to that sooner - and frankly, it's because we felt quite comfortable delaying the disappointment and living with the remote possibility that we'd won.

We're not avid lotto people. We're not 'registered' or anything fancy like that. It's just that when there's a particularly big draw, Geoff might grab a ticket. We are well aware that the odds are more in your favour to be struck by lightning than they are of winning first division, but hey - people get struck by lightning.

Geoff and Sass were in charge of the project, arriving back to say one of the tickets was a winner, but as it was older than six months, the newsagent could neither tell us how much or pay it out. We need to contact the State Revenue Office. The excitement was palpable. Before long, the winning ticket was in an envelope, jettisoning it's way to the revealers of our fortune.

You did take a photo of the ticket before you posted it, I ask?
A couple of sheepish looks and it was clear they hadn't.
Dear god, there could be thousands of dollars riding on this and we have no idea of what the ticket number even is!!

Time passed.

Elle emailed an enquiry from Geoff's email, masquerading as his EA (she likes to do that!). No response. More recriminations regarding the lack of record that the ticket ever existed.

On Monday, I decided to open a book. $2 to guess how much we'd won (assuming it wasn't 'stolen'). Closest to the pin wins. You can tell from the picks that our initial euphoria had waned somewhat.

And finally, a letter arrived yesterday. Geoff and Sass scurried into the study to have the first peek, emerging with tears in their eyes and an edge of hysteria - I was hoping because we were now loaded.

Sadly, it wasn't to be. The sum total, which we will be receiving in the next few days is (drum roll please) -  $10.65. A hair more than the $8 sweep Geoff picked up!

Iso

How's iso going for you?

As someone who has worked at home for a few years, to begin with, it was pretty much business as usual - but it is rapidly becoming a bit like Ground Hog Day. Is it Monday; is it Friday? Who would know. And does it even matter?

However, there has been some unexpected tolls  - namely my nails.  Pre-iso, I had them done every 2-3 weeks for that 'polished professional' look, but look at them now! Chipped, peeling, uneven - and nude!!

Today :(

Early in iso   

That, my friends, is not only the result of scraping off your own shellac but also:

• Excessive hand washing
• Cleaning windows - inside and out
• Gardening - mowing, weeding, whipper-snippering
• Ironing (an activity I've not partaken in for literally years - I'd forgotten how perversely satisfying it is to have ironed tea towels in the drawer - although when I noticed I was ironing a running T-shirt, I knew it was time to unplug...)
• Cleaning out and rearranging cupboards
• Bathroom scrubbing (I even RainX-ed the shower screen)
• Hand-washing dishes - including many that could legitimately go in the dishwasher
• Peeling, chopping, cooking
• Laundry of all and every description
• Vacuuming and mopping (these are perpetual now the girls are home)
• Wiping down everything, using my nail to scrape off every little mark

I suspect I'm not alone.

Cleaning aside, we've also played UNO, Cat Bingo and Cluedo and I've completed a 1000 piece jigsaw.

My outings have pretty much been for a run, a walk or a coffee - but, when the girls and I decided a trip to the supermarket was required, I seized the occasion. I had been concerned that I might forget how to put makeup on and walk in heels - so 'dressed' for the occasion.

I'm pretty sure the guy at the Aldi checkout appreciated the effort; he said 'Have a nice day' and normally all he says is 'Would you like a catalogue?'

Stocking up?

The world has gone completely mad! I cannot understand why people are emptying supermarket shelves of toilet paper because of the threat of a respiratory virus. If someone can explain the phenomenon, I'd appreciate that. Currently, I can only put it down to herd mentality.

I believe the run on toilet paper has spread to other countries. This pandemic could end up being worse than coronavirus!

I won't lie; it took me a while to cotton on to what was happening. I was at Aldi late last Saturday afternoon and was surprised there was so little pasta, canned lentils and tomatoes - very not like Aldi. I wasn't after those things so didn't give it much thought. The woman in front of me at the checkout did a dash back to the bean aisle before starting to check out, arms laden with tinned chickpeas. "The beans have been restocked', she gasped, clearly relieved. I had no idea why she was saying this to me, so just smiled vacantly (as I sometimes do).

On to Woolworths where bays had been cleared of god-knows-what because there was nothing there to identify the normal inhabitants and I had no interest in investigating.

Now, of course, social media is awash with memes and comments on the doomsdayers, like 'Haven't they heard of wine??'

In the last day, a man in Tamworth was tasered for grabbing a fellow shopper by the throat in an altercation involving toilet paper. Seriously - I am not making this up - here's the news link

Even in the unlikely event that supermarket supplies run low, I'll reckon we'll be okay. We live within walking distance of seven cafes, a pub, a wine bar, a few restaurants (Indian, Thai, Vietnamese and Italian) and a couple of bottle shops - we're so fine!!!

Ironically, with the kids both temporarily out of town, I did think this might be an opportune time to eat our way through the freezer. It's overflowing. There are vegan burgers, prawns, gozleme, pizza bases, pasta sauce, jars of rocket pesto, chicken stock, turkey gravy, boa buns and goodness knows what's underneath those things. It'll require a reconnaissance.

And if we end up in lockdown, we'll be the ones living off the stash of Man Shakes (protein powder) and wine! I could afford to lose a few kg and that seems like a fairly appealing way to do it!!